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Mariah Carey Diva Demands

2010-01-07T19:37:00.000-08:00

Mariah Carey belts out one of her many hits for a sold-out crowd at the Borgata in Atlantic City. What do you think of her ridiculously poofy fairytale frock?

Miley Cyrus on controversies

2010-01-07T19:32:00.000-08:00

Miley Cyrus is growing up. She'll film the fourth and final season of "Hannah Montana" this year, and she's already made a proper adult film, "The Last Song" (due this April), based on a Nicholas Sparks novel, in which she stars as a rebellious teen reconnecting with her father (Greg Kinnear). "People will be really surprised when they see it," she says proudly in the February issue of Harper's Bazaar. "It's pretty deep. I want to do edgier movies -- movies where you walk away feeling fulfilled."

Miley on being a role model despite the headline-making Annie Leibovitz photograph for Vanity Fair of Miley wrapped in a bed sheet (and little else) that sent parents into all sorts of a huff, and the pole dip performed atop an ice-cream cart at last August's Teen Choice Awards that was compared to a stripper move:

"People like controversy because that's what sells," she says with resignation. "My job is to be a role model, and that's what I want to do, but my job isn't to be a parent. My job isn't to tell your kids how to act or how not to act, because I'm still figuring that out for myself. So to take that away from me is a bit selsh. Your kids are going to make mistakes whether I do or not. That's just life."

Something missing for Emma Watson

2010-01-07T19:27:00.000-08:00

Photoshop focus on Demi Moore's November cover for W Magazine will finally die down, thanks to new ads that leave Emma Watson without a leg to stand on. This photo, from the Burberry SS2010 shoot by famed photographer Mario Testino, shows the "Harry Potter" starlet posing with her brother Alex in Burberry's new clothes...but missing a body part we're pretty sure she still has!

In the photo, Watson's right leg appears to take a mysterious turn before disappearing altogether, perhaps the result of a post-photo shoot editing session gone terribly awry. There's the possibility that Watson's leg is fully obscured by her brother's, but that would likely mean she's standing on a box or posing with one leg up (which might explain why she's got her arm wrapped around him for support).

Without seeing the entire/original shot, we'll never know, but at least the missing limb reappears in this additional photo for the campaign.

Nobody involved in the photo shoot has yet to comment. But unlike the Demi Moore incident, in which all parties vigorously denied any touch-ups, Emma's missing limb seems like it will be considerably harder to explain away.

Maybe this time, everyone can just laugh it off -- after all, even skilled photo re-touchers make mistakes now and then. We're just glad Emma's okay.

Superstars' big fashion mistake

2009-12-04T22:55:00.000-08:00

Kristen Wiig's bright tights ... festive or frightening?

Yes, Melody Thornton is a Pussycat Doll. No, that doesn't excuse her from wearing a leotard in public ... to dinner ... at an expensive restaurant.

Looks like former "Baywatch" babe Pam Anderson forgot to take off her towel and put on some real clothes before heading into town to do a little shopping. Again.

Don't get us wrong; we love many of Adam Lambert's wild looks, but we have to draw the line when the scandalous "Idol" runner-up unsuccessfully attempts to pair plaid and studded Doc Martens.

Speaking of denim disasters, you'd think a multimillionaire like Michael Jordan could afford a stylist, or at least a pair of pants sans holes.

What do you think of her ripped zebra-print dress? Fierce or simply full of holes?

If Jennifer Aniston wanted to show off her fabulous, 40-year-old gams, perhaps she should have worn a cute skirt because these tattered jeans aren't doing her justice.

The teen queen ditched her bikini for what can only be described as an unfortunate ensemble, made all the more bizarre by her Jonas Brothers T-shirt. Is the singer trying to send a message to her ex Nick? She might want to change before trying to rekindle the romance.

Lindsay Lohan bad 'pinup' look

2009-10-31T03:52:00.000-07:00

Speaking of unnecessary accessories, what possessed Lindsay Lohan to slap that silly bow on her head?

Brooke Shields' bad 'pinup' look

2009-10-31T03:48:00.000-07:00

Is it just us, or does Brooke Shields' designer dress look like gift wrap gone wrong?

Paris Hilton's bad 'pinup' look

2009-10-31T03:40:00.000-07:00

For once Paris Hilton's hair looked halfway decent, but the vintage, safety-pin-adorned Versace dress she wore to the LA premiere of "This Is It" appeared to be a fashion school project faux pas.

Things That Make Good Guys Wave Goodbye

2009-10-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

You're sitting across from a great guy you met. You can't remember the last time a first date went so well. You're attracted to the guy. He has all the qualities you're looking for in a mate. He would even get your mom's approval.

The date ends and you actually have butterflies. Not only does this guy have second and third date potential, but you can smell a relationship. Unfortunately, a week passes and the cold reality sinks in that this great guy has no intention of ever seeing you again.

Where did you go wrong?

How could you have misunderstood what you thought was great chemistry? Maybe it's time you learned the top 10 turnoffs that make good guys wave goodbye. If any of these fictional female daters sound like you, it's time for a first-date makeover.

1. Misleading Maggie: Her profile says no kids, athletic and raking in the big bucks. The first date reveals two young kids, an extended waistline and unemployment checks. Nothing says trust issues for a guy more than lies from the get-go.

2. Insecure Ilene: She reads into every comment a guy makes. She wants to know right away if date #2 can be tomorrow. She asks you to call the minute you get home. This clingy nature screams of a potential needy girlfriend lacking independence.

3. Third-Degree Donna: The cross-examination begins before the menus arrive. The questions are coming fast and furious, and the guy begins to feel like the defendant on the stand in a criminal trial. If a guy feels stuck under the interrogation lights, he'll run for the hills.

4. Tardy Tina: She arrives late, she no-shows, she changes plans last-minute, she loses his number, she flat-out just doesn't respect a guy's time. Fashionably late is one thing; keeping a guy waiting 30 minutes or no-showing is unacceptable.

5. High-Maintenance Hilda: "Thanks for taking me to this nice restaurant, but couldn't you get a table by the window?" The feeling that nothing is ever good enough makes a guy quit trying to impress. A simple thank you for a nice dinner is a better way to go.

6. Chatterbox Charlene: The conversation doesn't have to be 50 percent talking and 50 percent listening, but if she does all the talking it feels more like a seminar than a date. Charlene's opposite cousin, Pulling Teeth Patricia, is equally unsettling, making the guy do all the work.

7. Still-Hurting Sally: First dates are notorious for spilling the beans on what went wrong with prior relationships. Sharing an amusing anecdote is good; making it clear you're not over your ex-boyfriend is a definite no-no.

8. Game Player Gina: "Maybe I'll kiss you goodnight, maybe I won't." Good guys like to know where they stand. They leave the game-playing for the sports field. There's nothing wrong with flirting, but just know when it crosses over into deception and confusion.

9. Conceited Colleen: "Any guy would be lucky to have me." Guess what, the great guy across the table is also a real catch. Stop assuming every guy doesn't deserve you, and then you'll be on your way to actually landing a good one.

10. Matrimony Maureen: He dips his egg roll in duck sauce when all of a sudden she spills the beans on what they should name their kids. Intense relationships can be exciting for a good guy, but walking down the aisle before you walk each other home for the first time is a turn-off.

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How To Make a Man Jealous?

2009-10-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

The jealousy card. You know it well, and chances are you've played it on more than one occasion.

It does wonders, doesn't it? Make a guy jealous, and he's back in the palm of your hands, treating you better, paying more attention to your ups and downs, and cleaning the bathrooms twice a week (with rubber gloves). Genius.

Or is it? As with politics and winter skies, there are various shades of gray here, too. While you may have something to gain by pushing his buttons, you also have an awful lot to lose if you hit the wrong one.

At the risk of being labeled a traitor to my gender - but as a favor to my female friends - here are some surefire ways to safely and compassionately poke your partner with the jealousy stick without risking more serious issues.

Stay Up Later Than He Does

And make sure you're logged in. When he says he's going to bed, tell him you'll be in later, that you just have a few things to look up on the computer. Not that he doesn't trust you and not that you're going to check up on an ex or two, but he doesn't know that.

And his wandering mind may just think you're up to something. And the thought that you might be means that you'll soon be getting more attention than David Beckham in the Los Angeles airport.

Have Drinks with Friends

He knows you talk. He knows you talk more when you're with friends, especially when you add drinks to the mix. And he cares deeply about how he's portrayed in your version of the media - that is, your social network - and how he stacks up against other men. Go out and compare notes with the girls, and selectively report back on the findings of the kangaroo court. He may be less likely to give you damning evidence to report.

Click on ESPN.com

Read up on the latest sports happenings, and bring them up later to your man. When he asks how the heck you knew Padraig Harrington won the British Open, tell him that a couple guys from work were talking about it.

The thought of you playing Erin Andrews (sports reporter for ESPN since 2004 ... C'mon, stay with me here!) around the coffee machine will make him steam without totally burning. (Note: Anything you do with male colleagues that's potentially frisky will infuriate him - and can potentially backfire on you.)

Whoop Him

Challenge him in something physical - whether it's in an upcoming 5K or in your regular yoga class. It's hard for even the least competitive men not to feel antsy when his woman is stronger, faster, or more flexible than he is.

He'll say it doesn't bother him when you cross the finish line first or scratch your ears with your toes. Plus, research shows that even a little healthy competition can ignite your sex life. Don't push the Venus Williams act too hard, though, or he'll wonder if his losing streak will send you in search of a man who's faster, stronger, and better.

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Men You Should Avoid

2009-10-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

Dating with somebody? Is he the right person you have been looking for? Is there anybody you should be careful about? Is there any particular characteristic of the guy you are going out which could complicate your relationship with him?

There are couple of men with particular characteristic you should consider seriously while dating. Try to avoid men...

Who wants, and in fact, insists you to spend every waking moment with him, refusing to let you go out for yourself or spend any significant amount of time with anyone else. Any kind of your suggestion or explanation of his or your need of spending time with friends and families will only bring up argument in which you would have to prove your love for him may be 100 times. Remember, if you can't have a little independence in your relationship, it's never going to last.
Who prefer spending time at gym and talk about his workouts most of the time. He has a life time membership at this gym. He has all the latest gadgets and home entertainment systems. Most probably, in such relationship, you will never see him as he is always down at the gym. He will spend more time in the bathroom then you do.
Who always treats you like a princess and is the perfect lover for you. He dresses well and is out to impress every woman he comes in contact with. He will, of course, have trouble remembering your name, with all the women he has on the go. He will have all the excuses for not showing up. You will have to compete with his phone as he has so many calls to return and text messages to answer.
Who is a workaholic and is so much in love with his work. He is going places, but will he be taking you with him? He is always smartly dressed, has great taste in decor and eats at the finest restaurants. However, his work will always come first. May be you have to make an appointment to see him. He will take you to elegant dinner parties then leave you with strangers while he talks shop.
Who always wants to be the center of everyone's attention, no matter where or with whom you are. In order to get this attention, he may use one or many of the following techniques: talking excessively or may be too loud, wildly gesturing, telling unbelievable stories, or one or the other thing.
Who is mamma's boy who either lives with her and if not that pop in for tea every other day and goes for Sunday dinner. She is the one who helps him out with almost everything. His mom is the best person and the perfect one in the whole world. Having such a partner will bring up one problem, you will never live up to his mother and although he will love and cherish you forever he will take his mother's side every time. Time and again he will keep comparing you to his mom, no matter what you have done for him.

It's not all black and white. There could be men who has more than one of the above traits but could still turn out to be a great partner. There could be men who have any of the traits and can be even worse, but after talking about it, he overcomes it and could become a wonderful partner.

You should simply watch out for the types of men that take things to the extreme and make you miserable. And see if there is any possible chance of improving it. A successful relationship is one where both the partners understand, respect, care, appreciate and love each other. That is there is a kind of satisfaction in your relationship. And if you are unhappy more often than satisfied in your relationship, it's better to give serious consideration to it before its too late.

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How to Avoid Mr. Wrong

2009-10-24T21:01:00.000-07:00

Trusting Your Gut Online: How to Avoid Mr. Wrong

If ever there was a form of introduction that required a woman to trust her gut instincts about a guy, it's meeting in cyberspace. In the online world, you have to be aware of your history and clear about your wishes. Otherwise, in your search for Mr. Right you can end up chatting endlessly with Mr. Wrong. Here are a few tips culled from women who have been there, done that.

Don't be bullied

One woman tells of a guy who kept claiming she was being "rude" to him by not answering his letters within an hour or two. "Didn't anyone ever teach you it's bad manners not to reply?" he wrote. Strong women that we are, we believe that we can calm a bully down, that once he knows who we are, he'll back off. No, he won't. A bully keeps bullying until he's stopped. Say goodbye now.

Why is he telling you all this?

The man who bares his soul to you -- who tells you too much about his ex-wife, his past girlfriends, the intricacies of his libido -- is being inappropriate. You know that in your gut, but you think, well, this is a different medium, so it's okay. No, it's not. Baring his soul to someone he hasn't met is telling you something: He's not interested in whether you want to hear it or not. And anyone who whispers endearments before you've met him is out of the question. No cozy innuendos and sexy asides. No promises of ecstasy or -- listen carefully for this one -- pain. If you see the word "pain" in a message -- DELETE.

Keep your responses brief

Don't confide. Don't respond emotionally, no matter how provocative he is. Don't let someone who irks you take even a moment of your time (DELETE!). Bad grammar -- I mean really bad grammar -- is another turn-off. This is a prospective husband. He doesn't have to have a law degree from Columbia, but you are, after all, looking for an equal.

Pictures are worth a thousand words

Then there's the guy who sends you lots of pictures of himself with friends. There he is, with all those women whose faces have been cut out of the photos. What's he telling you? What's he asking you? And if all these shots are on yachts and schooners, ask yourself, is this where you want to be? If a man is showing you a life he loves and you're pretty sure you won't love it, let him find someone who will.

A soul mate is interested in connecting

Beware the man who doesn't notice what you said in your profile. Oddly enough, many men don't pay attention. They look at your picture, or they like something you said, but from that moment on, your carefully articulated wishes are subsumed into his lengthy discussion of . . . himself. Remember: A soul mate is interested in connecting, in creating a relationship.

Stay away from Drama Kings

There are several signs that the man you're corresponding with is a Drama King -- a solo act, a man who will eat up most of your time and energy. Are you exhausted just dealing with him? Then imagine what it will be like once you meet! Never read your own exhaustion as some deficiency in yourself. It's the surest sign that the man you're exchanging mail with is not interested in connecting. A connection moves; it goes somewhere; it feels hopeful; it feels good. If it feels like something lonelier, something more tiring, DELETE.

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Things Women Don't Know About Men

2009-10-24T20:58:00.000-07:00

Getting angry at us for not reading your mind is like getting angry at yourself for not being able to fly. It's not just futile, it's physically impossible.
Yes, we do think Jessica Alba is hot. Sometimes we're even dumb enough to admit it.
Don't ask us to understand your shoe fetish. Asking us to respect it is even sort of pushing it.
You do look good without makeup, just not as good as you look with it.
Ever notice how we don't fight with our male friends? That's why we get so frustrated when we fight with you.
You care what you're wearing infinitely more than we do. In fact, if you're naked when you open the front door, you won't hear an argument from us.
You don't like to get hit on in public, you don't want to date online and you don't want to be set up on blind dates. Tell us if sending messenger pigeons is an appropriate way of courting. Because if it is, we're all over it.
There should a statute of limitations on stupid things that we said that can come back to haunt us. I propose 24 hours.
Cooking dinner for a man is like buying flowers for a woman, except it takes a lot more time, effort and thought for you to do it. Thanks. We appreciate it.
We actually like your girly pet-names for us, but please, not in front of the guys!
Just because we like looking at the women in Maxim doesn't mean we want to actually converse with the women in Maxim. Not for long, anyway.

Your nice guy friends are the most reliable source for telling you if your new boyfriend's a jerk. And he probably is. (By the way, you might want to consider marrying that nice guy who's giving you advice about the jerk.)

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5 Ways to Get Into a Man's Head

2009-10-24T20:54:00.000-07:00

To get into his heart, start by getting into his head

How many times have you wondered, "What is this guy thinking!" If you want to get into a man's heart, you have to start by getting into his head. The problem is many men have a hard time being open about their thoughts and feelings.

Armed with the following five techniques, a man will feel more comfortable opening up to you, so you can develop better communication with him and, ultimately, enjoy a better relationship.

1. Let him know you care about what he is saying. A man won't open up to you unless he knows you care. One of the best ways to convey this to him is through your body language. To show your interest, unfold your arms, lean into him and allow your eyes to meet his in a natural way.

Let him know that you get what he is saying with a nod of the head or a raise of your brow.

Also, try "mirroring," which means that you absorb his body movement and convey it back to him. So if he looks stressed telling a story, you look stressed as well. It's like saying, "I feel what you are feeling. I'm putting myself in your shoes."

2. Be nonjudgmental. No man is going to let you into his real thoughts if he senses he is going to be criticized or put down. Leave out comments like "How could you do something like that?" or "That's not something I would do."

Give him the freedom to express himself openly and honestly without judgment and you'll be surprised at all that comes out. You don't have to condone or agree with everything he says. You're simply creating an environment where he has the freedom to say it.

3. Don't use the word "why." When psychotherapists are in training, they are often taught to erase the word "why" from their vocabulary, because "why" questions frequently sound negative and critical.

When you ask a man, "Why did you do it that way?" it can come across as "Are you stupid, why on earth would you choose to do it that way?" Now he's on the defensive before you even finish the sentence. Practice using substitutes such as "Tell me more about it" instead of "Why did you do it?"

4. Never say, "We need to talk." Nothing makes a man want to talk less than hearing "We need to talk." It conveys the message that he's done something wrong, he's in trouble for it, and you are going to let him have it. He will shut down before the conversation starts.

The best way to bring up an important topic is to ease into it. Choose a time when you are both doing a small task together such as light cleaning or cooking, which takes the harsh focus away from "the talk" and will make him more comfortable. Remember not to approach him while he is involved in something important to him like Monday night football. (Heare are some other ideas about dealing with a football fan.)

5. Learn how to really listen. Chances are you always listen to him but you don't always hear him. How many times have you had something else on your mind as he is talking to you? Or maybe you are thinking about what you're going to say next instead of paying full attention.

It's important to stay in the "hear" and now with him, rather than letting your own thoughts or the outside world intrude. A man can sense when you really want to hear what he has to say -- true listening is the best way to get him talking true to you.

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Women You Should Avoid

2009-10-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

Dating with somebody? Is she the right person you have been looking for? Is there anybody you should be careful about? Is there any particular characteristic of the woman you are going out which could complicate your relationship with her?

There are couple of women with particular characteristic you should consider seriously while dating. Try to avoid women...

Who is too caring to you, constantly fixing your hair and tucking in your shirt, you are the victim of a Mother Goose. Although she may have good intentions and be great in many other ways, but her motherly instincts will eventually be too much to tolerate. You may try to change her but if she still can not resist the urge to stop caring about the details, you need to consider your relationship.
Who is over-emotional for anything and can cry easily over any bad happening. Although women are more emotional than men but you can easily differentiate between the emotional and over-emotional part. If you find yourself whipping out the box of tissues on a daily basis (and over trivial matters), it may be time to bail out.
Who wants, and in fact, insists you to spend every waking moment with her, refusing to let you go out with the boys or spend any significant emount of time with anyone else. Any kind of your suggestion or explanation of her or your need of spending time with friends will only bring up argument in which you would have to prove your love for her may be 100 times. Remember, if you can't have a little independence in your relationship, it's never going to last.
Who always wants to be the center of everyone's attention, no matter where or with whom you are. In order to get this attention, she may use one or many of the following techniques: Talking excessively or may be too loud, wildly gesturing, telling unbelievable stories, or wearing extremely provocative outfits. Will you be able to handle such a stage hog?
Who is interested in everything of yours which is directly related to your finances. She compliments you on your expensive watch or car, enquires about the kind car you drive, what you do for a living, where you live, and so on. Since she is basically looking for a sugar daddy, she will size you up within the first five minutes and drop you just as quickly if your cash flow does not meet her standards. Whatever your financial situation is, do you really want a woman who only sees men as dollar signs?
Who can discuss about anything that crosses her mind incessantly, no matter how boring or unimportant a topic is or what. The worst type of Motor Mouth is the one whose favorite topic of conversation is herself. If you can manage to listen to all the details of all the topics at any time of the day, no matter what, go ahead, otherwise would be a better idea to consider the relationship.
Who is very expensive to maintain. She has always been treated like princess by the parents and expects the same from you. Not only will she constantly keep you busy taking care of her every need, but her needs and expectations can be quite expensive too. Although she is not necessarily after your money, but she has expensive taste, and expects you to shower her with nice and posh things.
Who can argue almost about everything whether or not the topic has any sense to it. The more you try to tell her that her sense of logic is out of whack, the more she will argue. She may also try to make you feel guilty aout everything you do, even situations that you have absolutely no control over. If you are in such a relationship where you are always tense when with her, it defeats the purpose of having a relationship.

Its not all black and white. There could be women who has more than one of the above traits but could still turn out to be a great partner. There could be women who have any of the traits and can be even worse, but after talking about it, she overcomes it and could become a wonderful partner.

You should simply watch out for the types of women that take things to the extreme and make you miserable. And see if there is any possible chance of improving it. A successful relationship is one where both the partners understand, respect, care, appreciate and love each other. That is there is a kind of satisfaction in your relationship. And if you are unhappy more often than satisfied in your relationship, it's better to give serious consideration to it before its too late.

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Why Women Worry So Much

2009-10-24T20:38:00.000-07:00

Scientists have known that on the whole, females of all ages tend to worry more and have more intense worries than males. Women also tend to perceive more risk in situations and grow more anxious than men.

Now we know why.

Women are more likely than men to believe that past experiences accurately forecast the future, according to two new studies.

The research, involving both 3- to 6-year-olds and adults of both genders, tested the extent to which participants' thought that worry can be caused by thinking that a bad event that happened in the past could happen again in the future. (This skill, in its simplest form, is critical to social understanding as it is important to making decisions and assessing risk.)

For the first study, subjects listened to six stories that featured characters harmed by another person or animal in the story. Many days later, the character felt worried or changed their behavior when confronted with the same wrongdoer who had hurt them before. (For example, if one little boy stole a toy from another, the child might be worried when he saw that boy again and hide the new toy he was playing with.)

The second study was the same, except that the person or animal the character ran across later only looked similar to the one that had harmed them before.

At the end of each story, the participants were asked to explain why the character was worried or changed their behavior.

Females, both children and adults, were more likely to use uncertainty to explain the character's reaction, that is, they tended to explain the reaction in terms of events that might happen versus those that will happen, the researcher reported. They also tended, more than males, to predict that the characters who encountered the new character who looked similar to the wrongdoer would feel worried because they thought the new character would also do them harm.

The studies, detailed in the Sept./Oct. issue of the journal Child Development, also found that children increasingly made these kinds of past-to-future connections as they got older, which yields insight into their cognitive development.

"These results are significant because they reveal that knowledge about the impact of past-to-future thinking on emotions and behaviors develops during the preschool years," said study author Kristin Lagattuta of the University of California, Davis.

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How Do Men Think?

2009-10-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

How do men think? That's assuming that men actually think. Assuming that they do, they use their noggins in an entirely different way than women use their brains.

This article is not an opportunity for gender-prejudice, as of course, there are exceptions to the rule.

However, it's still interesting to discuss the issue in an informal article. In contention:

LISTENING - MEN USE ONE SIDE OF THEIR BRAIN

Do men just not listen? Women are surprised when they hear Men make the comment: "You talk way too much". This perception, although possibly pejorative, demonstrates one thing: Men do not view speech the same way that Women do.

However, there is empirical evidence to suggest that Men use the right side of their brain to listen to conversations, while Women can use both left and right. (Lurito, 2000) The left side of the brain responds to non-language stimuli, while the right side of the brain responds to language and feeling.

STYLES OF COMMUNICATION

Notice the way men speak to women. Often, they use categorical imperatives (You should do this, you shouldn't do this). Men tend to view situations as problems that need to be solved, rather than opportunities to discuss.

Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, wrote an entire book on this subject: "You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation" (2001, New York: Quill)

RELATIONSHIPS AND SEX

How do men think of sex? This example may clarify something for women.

A famous psychology experiment (Clark, R.D. and E. Hatfield. 1989) describes a study demonstrating that 75% of male college students say YES when a female student asks if they want to have sex (without even knowing the person).

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of female college students said NO when a sexual relationship was proposed by a male (without knowing the person).

The point of this study? Men perceive sex in a different way than women; in fact it's central to their self-identity as men.

Not to say that Women are sexless creatures; it's just that Men view sex differently than women.

As far as relationships go, a study by Rutger's National Marriage Project shows a few ways that men think about marriage:

1. Men are worried about divorce; they hesitate to commit because of it
2. Men fear the change in lifestyle accompanying marriage
3. Men want "the one" and perceive flaws in their current partner.

The problem with these perceptions, of course, is the typical set of psychological error-testing issues, e.g.:

cognitive dissonance - changing beliefs after experience
fundamental attribution error - explaining other people's behavior in terms of personalities rather than situations
impact bias - over-perceiving the impact of future events

I'll leave the complexities of psychology and relationships for another article.

SUMMARY

The moral of this article? Men don't even speak the same language, you ladies might need to translate.

Also, scientific research only proves what facts it can prove. Don't let science rule your heart, let it rule your head. But understand that certain behaviors have a psychological underbelly.

Lastly, although this may not be implicitly stated, men and women are not that dissimilar. They think a lot like women do. They just feel different about it.

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Things Women Should Do when Men Cheat

2009-10-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

Women often give cheating men more chances than one should have. Don't believe his lies that he tells you that he won't ever cheat again. Cheaters like to cheat. Cheaters don't want to stop since they like it very much. Here are five things that you shouldn't do if he's cheating on you.

Don't let it happen again

Don't let a man keep cheating on you over and over again. It will only give him the impression that you allow it. You can't let him keep doing damage in the relationship over and over again. You need to make it clear to him that you are going to leave every time he cheats on you. You need to let him know that you won't tolerate cheating anymore. Don't believe any lies that a cheating man tells you.

Don't stay with him

Once a man cheats don't stay with him. You give him the impression that cheating is okay when you stay with him. If you stay with him despite him doing it then it will only encourage him further. Make him realize what he is going to lose when you walk out the door cause of his actions.

Don't cheat on him for revenge

It may be tempting to go cheat on him for revenge. Don't cheat on him in return though since it will look just as worse. You don't want to do the exact thing that you hate. People will blame you for the marriage falling apart too if you cheat on him just to get him back as revenge.

Don't be foolish enough to stay with him in the name of love

One of the biggest mistakes one can make is to stay with a cheater in the name of love. It will never work out despite how much you love the person. It is useless to stay with someone that does not care about you at all. A person who cheats doesn't care about you since he might bring home STDs.

Don't let him live in the house

Don't let him live in the house if he is cheating on you. Let him know that he isn't allowed to play house. A relationship won't work by pretending everything is okay. You can't let him continue to act like he in a relationship with you when he is cheating on you. Don't let him have the best of both worlds since he doesn't deserve it.

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Internet Romance Relationship

2009-10-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

Warnings Signs in an Internet Romance Relationship

The Internet is a great way to meet your sweetie or meet new friends. The Internet has advantages. It enables you to meet people from different parts of the world. Some people do have romance relationships via the Internet. The couple can talk to each other through a variety of communication methods by e-mail or instant messages and chat rooms.

Some people don't take romance Internet relationships very seriously. Some of them don't consider it a real relationship. Most people do take it seriously and do meet each other in person. You have to be cautious in a Internet romance relationship because the persons can often lie to each other about anything and everything. You need to be able to verify if your boyfriend or girlfriend is being completely honest with you. You can check out dates and facts through public records available on the Internet. Here are some warning signs to look for and be cautious in your romance Internet relationship.

Your partner might be looking at single personal ad websites

Despite how much your partner may tell you “I love you” or how much they want to take the relationship further. He or she might be looking at those on line singles dating websites with a profile posted looking for someone else romantically. Be careful of this because you don't want to be with someone who is looking for someone behind your back even though they tell you “I love you”.

Your partner doesn't call you sometimes

If your partner doesn't call you sometimes then be concerned. Don't believe their excuses of being too busy or the person simply forgot to call you. A person doesn't forget to call someone that is special to them. An individual is never really too busy to not be able to call someone that they love and care about. They will make time for that person no matter what. Be cautious if your partner gets upset if you call them one day at odd times. He or she might be living with someone else such as ex or something.

Your partner cancels on meeting you face to face

Meeting your partner face to face is a big step. If your partner refuses to meet you face to face or just backs out of it all the time then be cautious. Money is a lousy excuse to not come see someone. Money is just an excuse that people often use if they have no desire to meet someone if they are lying to them. If your partner wont meet you then it is because he or she is probably not being completely honest with you about something.

Your partner is secretive

Your partner might be secretive cause he or she is lying to you about something. It could be that he or she is really married. Perhaps they really don't have a job or a car. Perhaps they have a child that you don't know about. It could be a number of reasons or lying about age. Perhaps he or she is living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend and don't want you to find out.

Just be careful if you go to meet your partner face to face. Make sure that someone all the information about your partner and don't go to meet your partner alone. Don't be alone with your partner for a long while. Make sure that your partner is his or her real age and over the age of 18.

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7 Sure-Fire Ways to Repulse a Woman

2009-10-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

1. Tell her what you don't want her to wear.

2. Look at another woman while talking to her.

3. Show her that you have no direction in your life.

4. Be too proud of your qualities.

5. Drink too much or have a serious addiction.

6. Insult her style, friends or family.

7. Use stupid pickup lines like: "Do you want to have sex?" "Can I smell your roses?" "Baby, that's the sweetest butt I've ever seen!" "Hey you, come here!"

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How To Pick Up A Girl

2009-10-24T20:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes picking up a girl may seem to be embarrassing, difficult and impossible especially if you are doing it for the first time. For most men it is not easy to approach a girl. So is it that hard to pick up a girl?

I think if you are confident, skillful, articulate, have sufficient courage, and are armed with the right techniques then it is not that difficult to approach or pick up a girl.

There are several things you need to take into consideration.

Be positive:

Women do not like men who are pessimists and have a negative approach to life. Actually nobody like people like that. Hence, it is necessary to have a positive attitude and show it when it comes to picking up a girl.

Smile:

"A smile increases your face value", and surprisingly it costs nothing. Therefore, especially while approaching any girl, smile constantly.

Utilize What You Have:

Most men dwell on what they don't possess. They feel that they don't have the charm and seductive attraction some guys have. Sometimes they regret that they don't have a nice body.

But haven't you seen many men who are good looking but don't have any girl. Be confident and try to capitalize on the assets that you have!

Make Her Laugh:

Making your woman laugh will do the trick. Laughter attracts women easily and in less time. If you are successful in making her laugh a lot, you have already won the battle.

Don't Fear Rejection:

Most men remain unsuccessful in the task of picking up a girl because they fear rejection. The fear of rejection is the main cause behind the failure.

Take every rejection as the next step to success and learn from your mistakes.

Every time you get rejected, you are moving one level up, because once you become comfortable with girls saying no, your fear of rejection will be gone. So instead of getting hurt, be confident after every rejection. Remember, the guys who get rejected the most are the ones who leave with the most numbers!

Be A Good Listener:

It always pays to be a good listener. Observe the things she is saying as well as your surroundings. Stop worrying about what to say next and focus your attention on listening.

During the conversation, always make a direct eye contact with her. Believe me she will give you leads about what she would like to talk about, in essence, telling you want to say next.

Increase A Women's Interest:

If a woman is interested in carrying on a conversation with you or meeting with you, you have actually won half the battle.

You must concentrate on indulging in a conversation she would be interested in. Never fake it. Try to speak about a general topic, a situation or try to listen to her opinions on something really interesting.

Gain Respect:

Remember that a woman would never like to sleep with a man she does not respect. It is necessary to gain respect by showing respect to a woman and making her realize that you genuinely like her company.

Get Her Phone Number:

Getting the phone number or contact details of a girl is important when it comes to picking her up. Now this is a difficult and time-consuming task. You must work hard in order to be successful in your goal.

Use Good Pick Up Lines:

When picking up a girl, you can never go wrong with a great pick up line. The best way to start a conversation with a woman is to say "hi". This is the best opening line.

Now, once she responds, try to proceed further. For example, if you are at a music concert, a theater or a sports arena. You can continue the conversation by saying

- "How do you like the band?"
- "Awesome performance, do you like it?"
- "Great movie, isn't it?"

Now, if a woman is near you, you need to try out the famous 'goodbye introduction'. You can start with "Hi, I am just leaving. But before I do, I would like to introduce myself to the most wonderful woman around". And then see the result.

Perhaps it could become one of the best pick up lines. There are bright chances that she would show some interest (that otherwise was not possible) and you will get introduced to each other. Before leaving you can ask, "Nice talking to you. I'd like to talk to you again, is there a number I can reach you at?"

Believe me guys this always works and brings much better results. There is hardly any girl that would say "no", because you are giving her a chance and just asking her number to reach at. So use this technique to pick up any girl of your choice, and see the result.

Why? Because here her left-brain starts working and she would be under some hypnotic mode where she can't afford to say "no" because that will mean there is not a number that she can be reached at.

Moreover, it also makes you more original than every other idiot that asks for her number directly.

No doubt, the question how to pick up a girl seems to be difficult and it really is. However, you can simplify it by utilizing the powers you have, and following the tips and techniques mentioned above. All the best!

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First Date Mistakes By Men

2009-10-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

If you can stay away from these first date mistakes by men you should make it to date number two. You're going to have to show your date that you're confident, and give a good impression with looking arrogant. The way you dress, what you talk about and your table manners are going to be under close scrutiny.

First off you need to decide where to eat. This is going to be up to you, so you have to get it right. Get this wrong and it will spoil everything right from the start of your date. Places to avoid are definitely fast food outlets. This will not go down well at all, and you'll be lucky if you're still on the date before you finish your food. At the other end of the scale you don't want to take a lady on a first date to a fancy restaurant that is way out of your price range. For one she'll think you've gone over the top, and two, you will be choosing all the cheapest items on the menu. You want a nice restaurant that is comfortable, serves good food and one where you can relax, and not worry about the cost of the meal. It will be even more beneficial for you if you know the restaurant you're going to. You can order your meal straight away, and make your own recommendations. Not knowing what you're going to eat when you sit and study the menu for ten minutes will not be attractive.

You will need to dress to impress. You don't want to turn up at a nice restaurant and look like you should be eating in a burger bar. Most women will go out and buy something new just to look good for you so you need to make an effort. A shirt, nice pants and polished shoes will be just right for the occasion. Back this up with immaculate personal hygiene like washed hair, no stubble and clean hands and nails. All this things will be looked at in the first 2 minutes of you meeting. Get this part right and your still heading for a good first date.

Showing that you're not listening can be very aggravating. She will notice if your eyes are wondering around while she is talking to you. You need to show you are listening all the time. Throw in the odd question so she knows you're paying attention. Never look at another women while you're on your date especially the waitress. This will not look good for you. You need to put the blinkers on for the night, and ignore what's going on around you.

Some things are best kept to yourself on your first date. In fact some of them can wait a few months before you start being too honest. Conversations to avoid are ex girlfriends, any criminal offenses no matter how minor, medications you might be taking and generally anything that isn't going to sound good on a first date. She will have things that will be kept a secret as well in the early days, and that's the way they should stay.

There are many more mistakes you could make on a first date but if you avoid these ones you should have some idea of what's not acceptable behaviour.

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Male Insecurity and Jealousy

2009-10-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

So, you finally got the girl of your dreams. She's fine-looking and sexy. She's definitely a catch! Every time you go out, other guys are checking her out. So, you hold her closer, have a protective arm around her, and cast steely "Don't you mess with my girlfriend" stares at the other guys. You closely watch her every move and feel a pang of jealousy and insecurity, even at times when it is not the least bit warranted. You constantly call her up to check up on her or count the seconds before she answers your call. You've been too paranoid too many times whenever she says she's out with her girl friends or co-workers, or if she's meeting up with a high school sweetheart or an ex-flame. You instantly erupt in jealous rage at the mention of past loves.

You feel trapped by your insecurity and direct your energy to over protectiveness and jealousy instead. So, you try to buy her time and attention by overwhelming her with the prettiest flowers, wonderful gifts, expensive dinners, and luxurious holidays. You want to control and have the upper hand in the relationship. You utilize the possess-and-isolate tactic on her. You always make excuses for her to be always with you, or to be available at your beck and call. Her girl friends are exasperated with you and upset at how possessive you are.

So where does all this insecurity and jealousy spring from? You may have bad experiences before regarding relationships and loyalty, and you ensure that it doesn't ever happen again. In turn, you intensely guarantee that you are the sole object of her desire.

Male insecurity has also been known to directly correlate with a deficiency in the size of the male member. Many men are bothered that they are not big enough or they're not gonna please their ladies with their current size. This probably explains the thriving and often lucrative business that is penis enlargement.

Another reason may be about money or resources. Many guys feel disdain, oftentimes envy, towards other men who are better off than themselves. With more money, you could probably spend lavish gifts for your girl; and with more presents, you think you make yourself highly desirable and attractive.

Men, just like women, also need to be liked. They want to be respected, adored, and esteemed. They want to be feel important and special to someone. They want to be loved and needed.

So, how would you rein in your insecurity and keep your jealousy in check? Take time to do a self-assessment. Improve your looks and learn new things. Go to the gym, join sports club, or enroll in short courses like foreign languages, arts, or even acting. More importantly, is the measure of trust and loyalty that you and your girl have for each other. Don't let your insecurities cloud your judgment and ruin your relationships. Treat her with respect as much as you would want her to do the same for you.

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Having Sex For The First Time?

2009-10-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

Here’s what to expect..

The first time, a.k.a. losing it, being deflowered, breaking the seal, losing your innocence, popping the cherry — there are lots of names for it. But when you’ve decided to have sex for the first time, the names don’t matter. What matters is being ready and having some idea of what it’s all about.

Pre-Play

When the big day (or more likely, night) arrives, no matter how you set it up — with candles, champagne, and sexy lingerie, or as just another night — it’s bound to be more exciting, and at least a little more nerve wracking, than your standard hook-up.

So do yourself a few favors. First, have protection ready. There’s enough to worry about without having to add concern about contracting an infection or dealing with a pregnancy. If you don’t have a supply of condoms, go get some. Frank Littlefield*, a senior at Boston University, remembers making a fast trip to the store on his first night. He was at a friend’s house for a holiday party. When he discovered both he and his (also virginal) partner were latex-less, he “ran to the drug store. I grabbed one of those 75-cent single packs, and sprinted back. She was waiting for me.”

Next, get in the mood. This is supposed to be fun, so relax and enjoy it. Turn on some sexy music, and then it’s time for — hey guys, are you paying attention? — foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. The more excited and worked up you both are, the easier and smoother the whole thing will be.

Getting In

Take it from the veterans: Penetration is rarely as easy as it looks in the movies. So you can probably expect a little, er, poking around before the ship docks in the port. And don’t be surprised if a little manhandling is required. Sharon LaRusso, a senior at UCLA who lost her virginity at age 17, recalls the pre-entry moment as silly, but fun. “There were a few mis-pokes around my thighs. Then he guided it in with his hands,” she remembers.

Prior to experiencing sex, most virgins have heard from a variety of sources that the first time hurts for a woman. According to most women — and some men — this was their biggest concern about the whole experience. The truth? First-time sex may be a tad wince-worthy, but you’re not passing a kidney stone. “It hurt a little, but nowhere near as much as I’d expected,” says Lindsay Kelly, a senior at the University of Delaware who lost it at age 19. Gretchen Lazlo, a sophomore at Colby College and a virgin till age 16, says, “It was a little uncomfortable at first, but I wouldn’t call it painful.”

According to these same women, the best way to make it as painless as possible can be summed up in two words: Go slow. John Tatum of Emory University remembers asking his partner, who was also a virgin, several times how she was doing and if it hurt. “I knew that if she didn’t like it the first time, she probably wouldn’t want to sleep with me again!” he says. “So I was gentle, and kept checking in with her to make sure everything was OK. Later, she told me she was so glad I did that.”

The Act

Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: First time out, the big O is mainly the domain of the guys. No, it’s not fair, but that’s just the way it is. If you’re a female and you’re with someone who is very experienced, there’s a chance you might be sent into waves of orgasmic ecstasy, but don’t count on it. “I don’t know of anyone who [had an orgasm] the first time,” says Lindsay. Sharon agrees: “It was at least a year before I came while having sex.”

For guys, by most accounts, the first time is a quickie. Most guys I talked to estimated their first time lasted about 1-3 minutes. At best. “Put it this way: I could have beat Maurice Green,” says Dave Wayland of Princeton University. So coming quickly is nothing to be embarrassed about. If you’re with a more experienced girl, then “they know what to expect from you” says Frank. If you’re with another virgin, you really don’t have to worry. Hannah Kischler, a junior at Smith College, says her first time was “mercifully quick,” since the first time for her “was fun, but it wasn’t generally enjoyable from a physical point of view.”

Experimenting with different positions may not be the best thing your first time around — unless, of course you’re with someone who has more experience than you and who is comfortable taking you through the steps. Most men and women, however, find that the missionary position works just fine for that first test run.

Many novices worry about rhythm. Don’t. Rhythm is something that comes with practice, and from getting to know how your partner moves. “I definitely didn’t know what I was doing,” recalls Barry Glover, a senior at Drew University. “I didn’t really get the motions going. I never practiced on an apple pie or anything.” His recommendation? Slap on some tunes. Sexy tunes, that is. “It’s about slow, constant, steady rhythmical pressure. If you lack rhythm, like I did, try putting on music. It’s like dancing. Just move to the beat.”

Lindsay remembers the one thing that kept going through her mind. ‘I didn’t know what to do with my knees!” she laughs. It may seem trivial, but she, like many other men and women, remembers worrying about simple little things like their limbs. The best advice on this front — and overall — came from Jean Kirkpatrick, a recent graduate of Kenyon College. “There’s nothing you can do wrong. Okay, so you want to make sure you don’t hurt your partner. But outside of that, there’s absolutely nothing really right or really wrong you can do.”

Getting Out

Hey, you’ve done the deed. Congratulations. But don’t screw up now. Guys, when you pull out, grab the condom, hold on, and pull out slowly. Spillage is bad. You put that thing on for a reason, make sure you use it correctly. Don’t wait a long time to pull out, either. Instantaneous removal isn’t essential, but shrinkage can cause spillage, so watch out.

Aftermath

There are a few things you should know about after-sex. One is cleanup. Condoms are pretty neat and tidy, but have some Kleenex (or at least an old T-shirt) handy just in case.

Another is the smell. You may have heard people talk about the smell of sex, but you probably don’t know what it is till you’ve done it. Barry loved it then, and loves it now. He first smelled it after having sex for the first time at age 16. “Mmmm. I didn’t shower for two days!” he reminisces. Now, while we don’t necessarily recommend this particular course of action, a little reveling in the scent isn’t a bad thing.

Finally, while guys won’t be left with many physical reminders after their first time, women might notice a little bleeding. No big deal — it should hardly be enough to qualify as spotting, and should go away quickly. “I noticed a little blood in the shower afterward, but it was gone by the next morning,” says Gretchen. Women might also be a little sore or tender the day after, but that feeling should also go away soon.

So good luck, and remember: No one really knows what to do the first time around. But folks have been successfully bonking for millions of years. They all figured it out. And you will too. So relax, take it slow, and don’t worry about any sexual snafus. Just do what seems natural and comfortable. “There won’t be any swinging from the chandeliers at first,” says Sharon. “That’ll happen in time. You have to figure out what works with the person you’re with. And that’s true when you’re with any new person for the first time — it doesn’t matter if it’s your first lover, or your tenth.”

So, the rundown… the spark notes version to having sex for the first time and tips to make it even better

Talk it up. Not with your friends — although they might be able to give you some good advice. Talk to you partner before the big night. Talk about your experience, your concerns, your expectations. If you can talk about it before sex, it’ll be easier to talk about it during and after, too. And make sure to ask about your partner’s sexual history. Consider getting tested together to make sure you’re both clean.

Rubbers, gloves, latex, protection Call ‘em what you will. Have condoms on hand. (Oh — in case you weren’t paying attention — use condoms.)

Size might matter. We’ve all heard theories on whether or not penis size matters. We don’t have any answers to the age-old question here, but we can tell you that penis size can make a difference if it’s your first time. If a guy is particularly large, entry and sex can be a bit more tedious for everyone involved. Just make sure you take it slow.

Live and learn. Having some “all but” (as in “all but sex”) experience helps. If you’ve previously been initiated into the joys of making out, feeling up, and giving and receiving oral sex, then sex itself is a whole lot less intimidating. You’re already comfortable with squirts, spurts, and other bodily functions.

Lube job. If you’re having trouble getting in, or if you’re experiencing pain after penetration, you may want to have some KY jelly or other non-oil-based lubricant on hand. If you don’t feel comfortable with lubricant, use a natural substitute — saliva can work wonders. Let there be light? Lights on or off, it’s entirely up to you. Sex is sex, light or no light. But it may help to know that many first timers recommend darkness. You’ll both probably be less self-conscious that way.

No crowded house. Make sure your door has a lock. Use it. The last thing you need is your roomie or anyone else detracting from your first bout in bed.

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Oral Sex Tips For Women

2009-10-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

Tips for giving a great head

Scientists call it fellatio. Guys who could give a damn about science call it a blowjob, a hummer, a pearl dive, etc. But no matter what you call it, having your partner go down on you is one of life’s greatest pleasures.

Sometimes, though, there are a few snags.

Unfortunately, Fellatio 101 isn’t standard classroom fare. It’s not even something the mother bird teaches its young. As a public service for anyone who has a few questions about the right techniques, here is a laundry list of tips on what guys look for — and require — in a good blowjob.

1.Don’t try so hard. Last year, my friend “Bridget” asked me why she couldn’t fellate her boyfriend to orgasm. My response? In a perfect world of Playboy and porno flicks, hummers lead to big, healthy orgasms. You know the scene: some tramp uses a pogo-like motion to deep throat her partner, only to be greeted by the requisite money-shot a mere seconds later.

Whatever.

I told Bridget to ignore the pot o’ pearls at the end of the rain-blow. Instead, I asked her to think of the hummer as the perfect pre-game warm-up. Think about it…What better way to prepare for the plunge than with a good wand-wash? Do runners break records without stretching? Do writers hand in first drafts? No. Like a good appetizer, I’ve found that a little sucky-sucky before the supper always makes for a pleasant dining experience.

2. Give yourself a hand. Guys spend years refining their “handy” skills before grabbing their first gobbler. And while the hand is neither moist nor equipped with a tongue, self-help is sometimes very satisfying. Therefore, I suggest women use their hands AND their mouths while orally pleasuring their partner. Ladies, the mouth alone cannot provide the surface penetration needed to excite the penis. Cover the tip with your mouth, making sure to cover your teeth with your lips. Swirl the tongue around the head and shaft. Then grasp your boy’s toy so that your forefinger is touching your lips. Using your mouth and your hands in unison, begin the up and down motion. Glance up and admire his smile.

3. Ignore the “spit versus swallow” argument. Some men SWEAR that sperm swallowing is really a test used to measure the amount of trust a woman has for them. I’ll probably lose my union membership for this, but it really doesn’t matter. If you can cause the eruption, you’re a goddess. Draw the pearly white lava and we will worship your volcanoes to no end.

4. Bring the noise. Since “blowing” never really comes into play with a blowjob (well, for females, really), you’ve probably wondered where the term “hummer” comes from. Well, just like you ladies enjoy some good vibrations, we guys like the 1,200 beats-per-minute action, too. As you’re fellating away, hum a few bars from Warrant’s “Cherry Pie.” Okay, maybe a better song. In any event, vocal vibrations translate well to the penis. If you’re a real sweetheart, though, you’ll hum his favorite tune.

5.Don’t get all Hollywood. You’ve seen Kevin Smith’s “Clerks,” right? You remember the scene where America was introduced to “snowballing,” right? Forget that scene.

Obviously, no two men are alike. Different folks take different strokes — not to mention tongue patterns. If you’re really looking to deliver perfect oral pleasure, ask him to guide you through. It’ll open up your lines of communication, turn the sexual experience into a learning one — and give you an excuse to make some suggestions yourself.

Caution Alert

Just because a woman can’t get pregnant by giving head doesn’t mean oral sex is totally safe sex. Though the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases or HIV is much lower with oral sex than with anal or vaginal sex, there still are risks. To make oral sex as safe as possible, there are a few steps you can take. According to the STD Education Unit of San Francisco Department of Public Health, for maximum protection you should use a non-lubricated latex condoms without spermicide. If you don’t like the taste, try flavored condoms. If you really don’t want to use a condom while performing oral sex on a man, the STD Education Unit suggests a few alternatives.Avoid taking cum in your mouth or leaving it in someone else’s mouth. If you get cum in your mouth, spit it out. Avoid sucking if you have bleeding gums, sores, abscessed teeth, or have just gone to the dentist. These could make it easier for HIV and STDs to enter the body. Wait until they heal.

Do not brush or floss your teeth right before or after having sex. For fresh breath, try chewing gum or rinsing with mouthwash.

Look closely for sores or blisters on the genitals, mouth or lips. If sores or blisters are visible, avoid oral sex. Remember, though, it’s not always possible to see sores or blisters.

Avoid deep throating. This may irritate the lining of the throat, making it easier for HIV and STDs to enter the body.

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Men Masturbation Techniques

2009-10-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, a guy just needs some alone time to reconnect. Then there are times when we just want to get some satisfaction without having to seduce and take our time pleasing someone else. And so, I introduce to you masturbation techniques.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that you begin masturbating chronically and show your girl the door. Oh no. But every now and then, if you feel the need to stroke it, here are seven masturbation techniques you should try out for a little variety.

The cold climax

In the first of our masturbation techniques, masturbate as you normally would, but when you feel the sensation of ejaculation coming on, grab hold of some ice cubes or crushed ice with the other hand, then continue masturbating to completion. The feeling of cold in one hand, heat in the other, and the sensation of ejaculating will enhance the experience.

Rings around your penis

Cover both your hands with lube, and form a ring with your thumb and forefinger. Place it around the base of your penis. Slide the ring up to the base of the glans (where the head starts). Now form a ring with the fingers on your other hand and do the same thing. Keep stroking with one ring at a time until you climax.

The palm rubber

Once you're erect, place some lube on the inside of one hand, and rather than rub your penis with your hand, keep rubbing the tip of your penis against the palm of your hand to orgasm.

The ball holder

The next time you're masturbating and feel as though you're about to ejaculate, put your other hand over your scrotum and lightly squeeze and pull it down (or more aggressively, if you like that sort of thing). That way, you get to feel your semen traveling through your body, making its way to the exit.

The gentle tap

Although you have to have a sensitive penis for this to work effectively, this will at least demonstrate that you don't if it doesn't work. Keep your underwear on and make yourself erect. Once you're at your fullest erectness, tap the tip of your penis with the tips of your fingers. It should take somewhat longer than usual for you to reach climax but when you do, oh yeah...

The twist

While standing, twist your lubed-up hand (whichever you're most comfortable using) so that your thumb is against your belly button. Wrap your hand around your penis and, rather than stroke with your hand, move your pelvis to pump in and out of your hand. It'll make you feel like you're actually penetrating a vagina. Okay, maybe not.

The plastic bag

In your bedroom (or someone else's if you wish), fill a plastic sandwich bag with petroleum jelly and put your erect penis in the bag, squishing the jelly so that your entire penis is covered. Then, place your penis, still in the bag, between the mattress and the box spring. Pump in and out to orgasm. The best part? No mess.

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Simple Rules For a Better Kisser

2009-10-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

Most unfortunately, there are coxcombs among us who refer to making a move as "going in for the kill." However, leaning in for that first kiss should not be considered some kind of predatory attack, a forceful champing at the bit with excessive salivation. Instead, it should be thought of as an intimate moment shared between two people that can run the gamut from sweet and romantic to hot and heavy. Unfortunately, too many people mistake "hot and heavy" for "wet and messy."

These people are the bad kissers among us. Do not hate them, for they know not what they do (usually because no one has the heart or presence of mind to set them straight). Hence, everyone believes they alone have turned lip-locking into an art form. But someone has got to be inspiring the countless tales told round water coolers about the "spin cyclist." Who knows, perhaps it is you, dear reader. Follow the rules below to make certain it is not.

Ladies and gentlemen, do not lick your lips as you go in for the kiss. This is the equivalent of a renowned opera singer hacking up a loogie on stage in order to clear his throat before an aria.
Your mouth is not a jack-in-the-box. Ergo, every time you open it, your tongue should not automatically pop out. Work up to this most precocious of French maneuvers. When in doubt, follow this order of operations during any given kissing session: 1.) Closed mouth, 2.) Opened mouth, no tongue, 3.) Opened mouth, just the hint of tongue, 4.) Full-on tongue probing. Whether that four-step process takes a half hour or 30 seconds to complete, the buildup is infinitely preferable to sticking out one's tongue and saying "Ahhh" as one's patented opening move.
Do not open your mouth so much wider than your partner's that it appears as if you are trying to eat their head. Kissing is not a Mick Jagger impersonation contest.
Tongue-flicking your partner's uvula as if it were a boxing bag must never be attempted by anyone wishing to float high above the depths of vulgarity, not to mention stupidity.
Do not make a beeline for the boobs, the ass or the crotch the instant the lips have locked, especially during a first kiss or during kisses early on in the dating process. It is one thing if you are both living out the elevator scene from Fatal Attraction. It is quite another if you are strolling along the promenade under the moonlit sky, having done nothing but hand-holding up until this point. In most cases, romance should take priority over unadulterated lasciviousness; you will both wish to savor the moment, so focus on the kissing. Do not denigrate it or distract yourselves from its beauty by rushing to the naughty bits. True ladies and gentlemen, for the most part, take their sweet time.
Only the most hopeless of souls employs the sucker punch. Sneaking up on someone (especially someone you have never kissed before) and planting one on them by surprise so they cannot act quickly enough not to kiss you is the epitome of rudeness, to say nothing of desperation. You may, however, grab your date by the hand, push them up against a wall and plant one on them passionately, so long as there is not even the slightest hint of hesitation in their constitution. That three-step process should give you enough time to accurately assess your date's response and abort the kiss if need be.
Likewise, grabbing someone's face is romantic so long as you are not holding their head to keep them from pulling away. Putting someone in a headlock so they cannot escape your kisser is not only rude, it is criminal.
If the kissee pulls away, the ladylike or gentlemanly kisser refrains from getting mad or pouty. Even if you are dying of humiliation or crying on the inside, maintain a cool and calm exterior. You can kill yourself later.
When you come up for air and find your mouth poised on the precipice of their earlobe, proceed with caution and restraint. Many persons despise ear play altogether, on principle, as it reminds them of the wet willies of yesteryear. So go slowly, breathe softly, blow ever so gently, use your tongue sparingly -- it should just delicately graze the outside of the earlobe, not dig for waxen gold like a Q-tip. If your partner pulls away, do not keep revisiting the area in an effort to convert them.
True ladies and gentlemen are diligent about freshening their breath. Brush your teeth (and your tongue) often, carry mints with you at all times and keep a small tube of toothpaste in your nightstand drawer for morning touch-ups so you -- or your partner -- will not have to leave the warm comforts of bed prematurely.
A lady or gentleman never goes in for a kiss (or accepts an incoming one) during an outbreak of oral herpes. A true gentleman or lady with oral herpes (GoLwOH) explains their situation pre-kiss even between outbreaks. 'Tis true, almost a quarter of the kissers in this country suffer from oral herpes (most of them unknowingly), and yes, the chance of spreading oral herpes between outbreaks is very, very low (especially if you take suppressive medicine). But a true GoLwOH would -- and should -- tell. It is only polite to let your date make their own decision about the risk they are willing to incur. That said, many a measured gentleman and lady have been more than understanding when a GoLwOH waited until the second or third kiss to inform them of the condition. It is out of our jurisdiction to endorse lies of omission; however, many modern doctors will tell you it is fair play not to tell between outbreaks. A note of caution: This rule does not apply to genital herpes.
A lady or gentleman never expects a make-out session, or even a good-bye kiss on the lips, at the end of a date. We would do well to remember that kissing is so intimate an act that not even Julia Roberts's hooker character in Pretty Woman would allow her johns to osculate her. The same thing goes for holding hands in public on a first date, especially before the drinking has commenced. Civilized people find it extremely odd and out of fashion that so many young couples on the show Blind Date begin holding hands within the first few minutes of meeting -- even when they are not particularly fond of one another. Barbarians, all of them!

Herein you will find polite excuses that may be employed to help keep a lover's wild tongue in its cage and your relationship on track:

The Public Nuisance: "Whoa there, Nellie, we don't want to frighten the horses. I'm all for PDA, but please let's keep it G-rated for the kids' sake."
The Bored Game: "I know this really cool game. You have to kiss each other without touching anything except lips, and that includes tongue and all other body parts. Wanna play?"
Foreplay for Fools: "Honey, I just want you to lie back, relax and let me do all the work. You don't have to move an inch. No, I mean it, don't move!"
The Doctor's Note: "My dentist said that due to my root canal, no foreign objects may enter my mouth, except through a straw."
The Barry White: "Aaaaw yeah, baby, I just love your beautiful supple lips, ooooh, they're so round and red, oh oh oh, I wanna love them all night long, reeeeeal soft and reeeeeal slow, baby."
The Blunt Instrument: "I enjoy the wet one every now and again, but people are starting to wonder about the teeth marks. Please be gentle with me from time to time. Now kiss me, you fool!"

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Spicy Ways to Give Blissful Kisses

2009-10-24T20:09:00.000-07:00

The Beginner's Kiss

A simple meeting of the lips. Your lips may brush against each other or gently press together. Done with finesse, this can be a fantastic starting point. A variation of this is to "swirl" your lips slowly around your lover's. Relax, let go and allow your lips to roam over and around your lover's mouth -- real bliss with little effort.

The Butterfly Kiss

Using your eyelashes, gently flutter them across your lover's lips, eyelids, cheeks, neck and, when kissing the breasts, on the nipples, too.

The Droplet

Try experimenting with this in the heat of passion. If you're on top of your lover and kissing passionately, withdraw your lips slightly from his and allow a few droplets of your saliva to drip gently into his mouth.

The Eastern Swirl and Poke

This may be applied to the lips or the body. Relax your lips and allow your tongue to swirl and poke. Alternating these swirling and poking sensations feels wonderful.

The good old French Kiss

With open mouths, your tongues gently probe and swirl against the delicate skin inside the mouth.

The Lover's Pass

When you want to pass something in a sensual way to your lover -- perhaps a piece of chocolate, fruit or ice -- simply hold it gently between your lips and allow your mouth to touch his. Then, using your tongue, push the item into his mouth.

The Lush Lap

More controlled than the Naughty Dog, this kiss still involves a lapping motion with your tongue, but is more contained and controlled, with your lips kept close to your lover's skin. With your lips parted, use a firm, slow lap of the tongue pressed to her (or his) flesh, lips or mouth. Again, this kiss puts you in control and feels incredibly sexy to a lover who likes to yield to your moves.

The Medieval Necklet

Said to be enjoyed by knights of the realm when medieval ladies wore low-cut necklines. Gently circle your lover's neck with a series of kisses, moving from the lower neck just behind the ear, around the breastbone and finishing back behind the other ear. Both men and women enjoy the slow circular pattern being traced along this delicate skin.

The Mediterranean Flick

Said to originate from Latin lovers who flicked little beads of sweat from their lover's body during long hot summers of passion. Using a gentle flick of the tongue, you cover your lover's lips, cheeks, neck -- in fact, anywhere you please -- with delicate little flicks. This is perfect for the nipples and around the belly button.

The Naughty Dog

A passionate, earthy kiss, particularly good for larger erogenous zones such as the neck, breasts, abdomen and inner thigh. Let your mouth open loosely and allow your tongue to relax and "lap" at your lover's body. This feels incredible when applied from the lower part of the breast up to the tip of the nipple -- the tongue just flicking the nipple as the "lapping" motion finishes.

The Sliding Kiss

The tongue moves gently back and forth or in and out. A perfect kiss, too, for gently "sliding" erotic food -- such as sauces and creams -- off your lover's body as your foreplay develops.

The Snake

Moving on from the Mediterranean "flick," allow your tongue to flick, lap, poke and generally imitate that of a snake. This can take place while French kissing but can also be used all over your lover's body. It feels fantastic moving up and down the shaft of the penis or outer labia.

The Stretch

When French kissing, stretch your tongue up to rub the roof of your lover's mouth. People rarely focus on this area, yet the sensations your tongue can create here can be quite explosive.

The Vacuum Kiss

Allow your lips to relax and encircle your partner's lips with your own. Apply a gentle sucking motion that pulls on the much-neglected outer rim of the lips. Release the vacuum seal and then reapply. You're taking control and your lover's lips will yield to yours. You may also apply the vacuum to a single lip -- upper or lower. Also use the vacuum on your lover's tongue during French kissing, which will feel like heaven. If you apply the vacuum more firmly to your partner's body it'll become a lovebite -- see below.

Foreplay can build to an extraordinary level of passion through kissing. You and your lover may feel you're drawing the very heart and soul out of each other. Your kissing seems to quench a thirst that doesn't require water. Enjoy the moment.

Increase the heat with some gentle love "bites." This sounds such an adolescent thing to do but you needn't worry about leaving bruises on your lover's neck, breasts, thighs or wherever! Instead you can build up the tension with a stronger "vacuum" -- releasing his or her skin before any real mark is made. If he loves the sensation but doesn't want to go to work with a love bite -- simply dive below the neckline and "bite" him where he wants.

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Men Top Kissing Tips

2009-10-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

Most guys just don't realize how important that first kiss is to woman. Well, this should give you an idea: When you kiss a woman for the first time, she decides right then and there if she ever wants to kiss you again. Use these 10 tips to be sure you always leave her begging for more.

Do it in private

Privacy is key. A big mistake that too many guys make is going for a kiss in the wrong situation. Women want that first kiss to be special, and they'd prefer to share the moment with you and you alone. So if you're out somewhere social and you feel like the time is right, take her to a back room or, even better, to a completely different, more personal location.

Know when to pull out

There's no better way to let her know that you're a catch than by being the first to call it quits. Most guys go for the gold on the first kiss... and they rarely end up getting it. By being the one to slow down, you'll show her that you're in control... and most importantly, you'll leave her dying for more.

Feel her out

When you feel the moment is right, reach over and touch her hair while you're talking and make a comment about it. Say, "Your hair looks so soft," and lightly touch the tips of it. If she smiles, reach back over and start stroking it again, but this time shift your glance between her lips and her eyes a couple of times. If she lets you keep touching her hair, you know that she's ready to be kissed.

Be a tease

News flash: There's nothing that women love more than to be teased, so let her know who's in control by driving her crazy with your lips. Go in like you're going to kiss her, then at the very last second, pull away and flash her a mischievous grin. Use this sparingly to keep her turned on and on her toes.

Ease into it

Still feeling a little nervous about going in for the kill? Ease into it by leaning in and smelling her neck. Take a big sniff and say, "Mmm... you smell good." Then slowly brush your nose and cheek along hers as you pull your head back to make eye contact with her. When your eyes lock, close them and go for it.

Show some passion

Every woman longs to be ravished, so why not make her fantasy come true? As you're kissing her, reach back behind her and pull her head back by gently grabbing the hair right above her neck. Slowly kiss your way down her neck and give her a playful bite, then pull back slightly and breathe heavily on her neck and in her ear. Make sure your pants are securely fastened, because at this point she'll be trying her hardest to take them off!

Dip her down

If the mood is right, add some sensuality and chivalry to your first kiss by gently dipping her down, ballroom-style. There's no better way to make her feel like she's with a powerful and confident man. Do it right, and she'll never forget the moment.

Use your hands

Women love to be caressed, especially while they're being kissed. Starting above her ear, run your fingers through her hair, down to her neck and all the way down her back. Then slowly slide your hand back up again. Use both hands, and alternate between using your whole hand and just the tips of your fingers to give her an experience she won't soon forget.

Spice it up

Once initial contact has been made, spice it up a bit with some variety. Move from short, soft kisses into longer, deeper ones, then back again... and don't use your tongue any more than she does. Change the angle by moving your head to the other side, and alternate between sucking on her lower and upper lip. Be sure to stop to breathe after every few kisses. These little moves will let her know that you know exactly what you're doing.

Explore her body

When you're ready to really turn up the heat, kiss her on her neck and move your lips slowly up to her earlobes and give a light nibble. Don't be surprised when she starts breathing heavily.

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The Orgasmic French Kiss

2009-10-24T20:06:00.000-07:00

Virtually everyone remembers their first French kiss. It was a great experience for some and more like a tongue-war for others. But since then, we've all learned that French kissing is a very personal and sensual experience.

Since women's lips are their number one erogenous zone, it's very important for men to leave a lasting, eroticized impression with women. Remember that if you French kiss her like no other, you'll probably get to kiss something else soon afterwards...

The skill of kissing does not simply consist of knowing how to maneuver your tongue inside a woman's mouth without hitting her tonsils. Rather, it involves the entire mouth -- the lips, tongue, teeth, and the rest of the body.

Give the lady a hand

Positioning your hands on her body while kissing her is especially important too. Holding her face firmly but gently while you slip your tongue inside her mouth and suck on her lips will definitely make her toes curl.

As well, pulling her hair back from the back roots or slightly squeezing the part of her body that is located right under her breasts (her ribs) could make for some very tantalizing kissing sessions.

Slip of the tongue

Since kissing your partner is probably one of the most important parts of lovemaking altogether, here are some fail-safe ways to ensure that your woman will want to French kiss you for life.

Since people often give out what they would like to receive, pay attention to the way she kisses you -- that's probably the way she wants you to kiss her. Does she bite on your lips or try to gently suck all the saliva off your tongue? Well there's nothing in the world like the gift of reciprocity!

The tricks of the trade

Does your loved one kiss you like she's trying to suck the life out of your body? Or does she kiss too fast, too slow, or without tongue, period? First off, don't tell her what you don't like, but rather what you do like. That way you won't hurt her feelings at all.

Control her mouth

The next time you're kissing her, hold her face with your hands and kiss her the way you'd like to be kissed. If the fact that you're taking control doesn't turn her on, then your sensual tongue will surely do the trick.

Play a little game

Tell her that kissing her gets you so excited and then suggest that you guys switch roles and ask her to kiss you the way you kiss her because you want to know what it feels like. She'll be more than happy to cater to your request.

Make it last... long

There is almost nothing in this world that beats those long, slow, juicy, and very enticing kisses. Your woman will definitely feel your passion through one of those prolonged succulent kissing moments. Kiss her hard and deep.

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Signs You're A Bad Kisser

2009-10-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

You look into her eyes and feel your heartbeat accelerate. A couple more stares and you finally start approaching to embrace her. You are nervous, she is eager. Your lips lock, and you feel your heart free fall. Suddenly, she stops -- you wonder why? Is it your breath? Say it ain't so. What if you were too aggressive? Here are the Signs that your kissing technique needs some fine-tuning.

She slipped the tongue once, but never again

She gave up a hot, passionate kiss once before, but for some reason, she's hesitant to try it again. Why? Well, it could be because you were fumbling around in her mouth like an eager beaver. Next time, don't start salivating the second her lips part, she may just want to say "good night."

She goes for other parts

If she likes you, but opts to avoid your mouth and heads for other body parts instead, then your bad kissing techniques could work in your favor. Chances are that she'll go for your neck too. This could be quite good after all.

"I have to wake up early in the morning"

She happens to be passionate most of the time, but she seems repeatedly hesitant to make out with you at night, opting to crash instead.

She never initiates kissing

No matter how shy, women love to get intimate with the ones they love. If your woman never initiates the kissing, it could be because she knows that her tonsils might get a beating.

She ain't no Sleeping Beauty

She kissed you once. But since then, she yawns in your face each time you approach her for an embrace. Fear not, if she is sleepy enough, you can always head out for someone else to practice with.

Chew the lip?

Some girls really like it when you gently bite their lips. But if you notice that suddenly her lips rival Angelina Jolie's, chances are that she won't be so keen about making out with you anytime soon.

She decides you should be friends; after the first kiss

Perhaps there are other reasons, but chances are that your embrace turned out to be the kiss of death for your ripe relationship. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

She never compliments you

Okay, we know that women need to be reassured that they are great kissers and lovers. Men are the same; if she never says, "I love kissing you," then there is a chance that she thinks you're bland.

She stuffs gum in your mouth every time you breathe

Admittedly, this is more of a sign that she thinks your breath makes chronic halitosis smell like a rose garden. But the end result is the same; you'll end up with no love as she'll never mention that she "loves how you taste."

You see her kissing someone else

That should be the greatest hint that she doesn't dig your style. No sweat, if you have a mean streak, just try to pick up her sister or best friend once you've managed to perfect your lip lock, and she will regret kissing someone else and making you look foolish.

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Great First Kiss

2009-10-24T20:01:00.000-07:00

Good relationships tend to have some element of surprise and the unexpected in them. The key ingredient? Tension.

While it may seem counterproductive, tension actually helps to create a positive environment. Tension is critical in the early stages of a relationship and can be a healthy stepping-stone in establishing a deeper connection down the road. Create tension for your first kiss and you'll be off to a strong start.

Stormy seas or smooth sailing?

In a new relationship, most men make the mistake of rushing forward like Speedy Gonzales. Inadvertently they end up killing tension. They forget that all the fun and memories are created when you survive a stormy sea. A relationship without tension is like a boat on a placid lake: ultimately it creates a status quo experience, and nobody wants to be plain old status quo.

Imagine a romantic evening at your place over a bottle of wine. If you are like most men, you simply wait for the wine to take effect to see how far things will go. A better approach is to use the evening as an opportunity to create tension, thus establishing a stronger foundation for your future relationship together.

Here is how to play out the scenario to create tension:

You: Lean over to casually play with her hair while talking to her.
Her: She seems not to mind as you continue to talk.
You: Intentionally stop playing with her hair. Wait a minute and start playing with her hair again.
Her: She reacts to this by smiling while you continue to chat.
You: Stop playing with her hair and look into her eyes.
Her: She puts her hand on your leg and starts caressing it.
You: Start playing more intensely with her hair and slowly move in to give her a soft kiss on each cheek.

Pull back for a moment to create tension. Then lean in to give her a slow kiss on the lips.

You: Stop kissing her while still playing with her hair. (Note: You are pulling back with the kissing while still moving forward.)
You: Lean in to kiss her again and after a few moments (maybe 30 seconds), you will feel her energy opening up indicated by the pressure of her lips now pressing on yours. The key here is that she is initiating the pressure.
You: Gently pull the pressure off your lips and pull your lips back. This triggers her increasing the pressure.

Be consistently inconsistent

With glasses fogging over, I think you get the idea. The idea is that the constant "push and pull" creates in her the desire of continually wanting more. It amps up the chemistry.

On a deeper level, you are also sending information that you are a patient man who is self-disciplined. Self-disciplined men are more attractive to women because they are more likely to have self-discipline in other areas of life -- a necessary trait for success.

Pulling back and pushing forward also has the benefit of sending mixed signals to her nervous system, keeping it from being able to adjust.

The result leaves the receiver feeling wonderful. Remember, one thing you should do when being physical with a women is to be consistently inconsistent. It's one of the few forms of inconsistency she'll appreciate!

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How to Be a Really Good Kisser?

2009-10-24T19:59:00.000-07:00

Sensual, sexy lip-to-lip is a lost art for many of us who find ourselves face-to-face with a new amour. And I'd put money on it that jaded pros of French kissing could stand to refine their technique. So let's get right down to the essentials of what will add a French flavor to your lips:

The Timing

The best lovers of the world (who, by the way, are rarely French) are masters of timing. They know how to milk the yearning by barely brushing their lips against yours, and they know precisely when to go in, full-throttled, for the kill. While sense of timing may be a genetically inherited trait shared among musicians, comedians and successful stockbrokers, one can learn the basics by paying close attention your partner's breathing. If he is panting and breathless, experiment with Exhibit A below. If your date has calm and predictable inhalations, give Exhibit B a shot. If your date isn't breathing, call 911. But first, let's review the basics:

The Mechanics

The first rule of French kissing is that every woman has her own style. This style evolves out of a combination of your mouth's unique anatomy, including the length of your tongue and how far your jaw will open, as well as your level of sexual aggression and personal tastes. Regardless, the mechanics are all the same: Tilt your head to one side, part your lips, slip your tongue into your mate's parting lips, then explore what's inside. Breathe through your nose (or your mouth if your nose is stuffy). Once you've got the basic mechanics down, it's time to experiment with technique. Here are two worthy of experimentation:

Exhibit A (The Lusty French Kiss)

This kiss needs no warm-up. You want your partner and your partner wants you, as evidenced by your collective, animal-like panting. Your tongue is already in his mouth before you realize that you're kissing. But now what? Slowly -- and I mean slowly -- roll your tongue in circles around your partner's. Thrust shallow, thrust deep. Then circle again. Tilt your head to the other side, and repeat. Playfully bite his lower lip, then lick his lips. Try different variations of the above. The combinations are endless.

Exhibit B (The Coy French Kiss)

This kiss needs coaxing, as evident by your partner's mellow breathing. Start with his lips. With the tip of your tongue lick his top lip, then kiss him softly, no tongue. Next, taste his lower lip, then brush both your lips back and forth, and up and down his. Gaze seductively into your partner's eyes -- eye contact usually helps rev up the respiratory system. Next, add a little panting and moaning to your efforts. Finally, ease your tongue between his lips, slipping in and out. Continue in this coy manner until you reach the point where the lusty French kiss takes over (see above). Then alternate between the coy and lusty kisses. You see, variety and surprise are what ultimately make a French kiss more than just a kiss.

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Female Ejaculation

2009-10-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

Myth 1: Some women just can't have orgasms.

While there are a percentage of women who have never had an orgasm, there is no evidence to suggest some women are incapable of having orgasms. There are two reasons why some women have not had orgasms in their lives. The first is that for whatever reason they have never masturbated. Masturbation is often a woman's first orgasm experience. The second is that they simply are not receiving the proper type of genital stimulation. Clitoral stimulation is needed by most women to have an orgasm. Without that stimulation, it most likely isn't going to happen. There are some women who have psychological blocks when it comes to experiencing sexual pleasure. This may be the result of any number of past events in their lives, but even that does not mean they are physically incapable of having an orgasm. If they worked through those problems, they would be able to engage in orgasm-producing intercourse just like any other woman.

Myth 2: Women take longer to reach orgasm than men.

This is another common myth which has not been supported by research. The reason people believe this is that they don't understand the female arousal pattern (we'll discuss this later in the book). Women's arousal patterns are much different than men's and, as a result, they are physically prepared for intercourse later than men are. The time from optimal arousal to orgasm is pretty much identical for both men and women. The difference is in how long it takes to reach that level of arousal. Because men often don't know how to help their partners get to that point, it does seem to take longer. Once that's changed, however, men find their partners reach orgasm more quickly and even have multiple orgasms in quick succession.

Myth 3: Women should only reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse.

This is definitely not true but it's a myth that has caused us to take women's sexual needs for granted for a long time. This myth actually started with Sigmund Freud, the developer of psychoanalysis, who had recognized that women could easily reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Freud dismissed this type of stimulation as juvenile and believed it was important for women to become more sexually mature by focusing only on vaginal stimulation to reach orgasms.

The problem is that the vagina was not designed for orgasms. It does not have the concentrated nerve endings that one finds in the clitoris or in the head of a penis, for example.

As a result of Freud's determination, women who could not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse were considered to have some type of psychological impairment. All sorts of methods were devised in an attempt to “liberate” women from their reliance on the clitoris for sexual pleasure. Only in recent decades has society begun talking openly about the women's right to enjoy sex and to reach orgasm in whatever manner worked for her.

Myth 4: Only women fake orgasms.

Even though this book is about female orgasms, I think its important for both men and women to realize that orgasms are not going to happen during every sexual encounter. About one-fifth of men admitted that they have faked an orgasm with a partner. Their reasons for faking are the same as women's: they don't want their partners to be disappointed. Orgasms don't always come easily in a partnership. Sure, when we masturbate we can probably get off every time because we know our bodies and we know what works. Our sexual partners have to learn these things over time and, most importantly, with our help. Again, faking orgasms is not the answer for either sex. It just complicates the issue and prevents both partners from having a truly fulfilling sexual encounter.

Myth 5: Men just care about their own pleasure, not their partner's.

This myth was probably true at some point in the past but today more men are worried about their role as lovers and want to give their partners a great experience just as much, or even more, than they want to have a great experience.

The reason this myth persists is the same reason I wrote this book. Men don't understand how female orgasms work or how to achieve them. They don't learn it in sex education classes, and most of their fathers wouldn't be able to tell them even if they did ask.

What makes this worse is that many women feel that men should instinctively know how to get them off. That's just not the way it works. For one, each woman's body is different so what worked with one partner may not work with another.

Each partner needs to communicate with the other person about what feels good and what helps them achieve orgasm. In an honest, caring relationship, these types of communications should be able to take place.

What You Should Remember.

Remember as you move into the following topics that much of what you may have known about female orgasms is not true. Only once you move beyond these myths will you truly be able to reach that level yourself or help your partner reach that level.

The most important first step you and your partner must make is to have open communication about your sexual relationship. We'll talk about this more later in the book but keep in mind that good sex does not begin in the bedroom. It begins with talking, getting to know one another, developing trust, and feeling comfortable enough to be completely open with the other person. Truly amazing sex is not possible without these ingredients.

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Foreplay Before Sex Advice

2009-10-24T19:55:00.000-07:00

Foreplay is a critical and crucial part of the whole lovemaking experience. It is simply define as everything that comes before actual intercourse. A couple needs foreplay to spice up their sex life, get fully aroused and heighten pleasure.

Men are from Mars.

Sometimes men need prolonged foreplay to get an erection. Foreplay for men is relatively simple and easy. The direct touching of the genitals usually does the trick. But for those women, who want to tantalize their men into submission remember these five foreplay-for-him maneuvers.

1. Visuals play a vital role, so a sexy clothe would be a nice touch but giving him an unadulterated view of your body will be the hottest gift. Reinforce this view with some steamy moves guaranteed to thrill, like giving him a strip tease.

2. Let your parted lips roam his body, like his stomach or chest, then slowly exhale. The rush of hot air will change the temperature in his skin and heighten his arousal.

3. Seize control and show your animal instinct. You'll be surprise to know that men crave seduction as much as a woman and being aggressive is a sign of lust and that you're as into it as he is.

4. Excite them with touch. Guys are especially touchy when they are between the sheets. Giving him butt massages and long but gentle scratches up and down their back will turn your fella right on.

5. Do what ever it is you are doing to bring him to the brink. Then ease up, not necessarily stopping, but put off the good thing for a while. Do this a few times until he screams "enough already."

Women are from Venus.

Women need foreplay to become properly lubricated. For women foreplay is a bit more complicated. Direct genital touching is the last place you should go, consider every where else on her body as a good place to touch, massage and kiss before you go there. Letting her know that she is wanted for more than sex, that she is cared about as a woman, is what really turns her on. Here is a five step plan to help her get ready.

1. Nothing is more important to a woman than knowing that you have a connection. It can be as simple as telling her that you were thinking about her, and missed her, nothing over-the-top, just honest and caring conversation.

2. Remember that being intimate does not have to mean being sexual. Once in a while ask her probing questions and give her more than one-word replies when she asks you the same. Confide in her, and let her know that you appreciate her listening.

3. Establish physical contact without being sexual, like holding her hand, giving her massages, do anything to simply make contact without mauling her.

4. Kissing, for women, is an incredible turn on. You have to remember that women sees kissing as another form of emotional intimacy so do not go to a lot of tongue action right away. It will be good to start with a brief caressing of lips and pay attention to whether or not she's digging it. If she is, continue from there with a bit more passion but always be aware of whether she is reciprocating. A great trick is to imitate her kissing style, as it's surely a sign of what she likes!

5. Remember that from kissing her until the "heavy petting" stage, there should be some interval in between. The duration of the kiss will depend on how hot and bothered you both get. The longer and slower you kiss her, the more experienced you'll seem, and the she'll be excited.

There is no time limit on foreplay, usually the longer it takes the more sensitized your skin becomes and sends your senses to haywire that leads to explosive orgasm. The key is to start intercourse when both partners are fully aroused and having a hard time controlling their desires. Remember that initiating sex, breaking routine, exploration, new places, new positions, letting him/her know that he/she is wanted sexually is what turns your partner on.

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Female Orgasm - Evolutionary Function?

2009-10-24T19:52:00.000-07:00

Women do not routinely have orgasms during sexual intercourse. When intercourse was "unassisted," that is not accompanied by stimulation of the clitoris, just a quarter of the women studied experienced orgasms often or very often during intercourse.

Just for Fun?

Evolutionary scientists have never had difficulty explaining the male orgasm, closely tied as it is to reproduction.

But the Darwinian logic behind the female orgasm has remained elusive. Women can have sexual intercourse and even become pregnant - doing their part for the perpetuation of the species - without experiencing orgasm. So what is its evolutionary purpose?

Over the last four decades, scientists have come up with a variety of theories, arguing, for example, that orgasm encourages women to have sex and, therefore, reproduce or that it leads women to favor stronger and healthier men, maximizing their offspring's chances of survival.

But in a new book, Dr. Elisabeth A. Lloyd, a philosopher of science and professor of biology at Indiana University, takes on 20 leading theories and finds them wanting.

The female orgasm, she argues in the book, The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution, has no evolutionary function at all.

Rather, Dr. Lloyd says the most convincing theory is one put forward in 1979 by Dr. Donald Symons, an anthropologist.

That theory holds that female orgasms are simply artifacts - a byproduct of the parallel development of male and female embryos in the first eight or nine weeks of life.

In that early period, the nerve and tissue pathways are laid down for various reflexes, including the orgasm, Dr. Lloyd said. As development progresses, male hormones saturate the embryo, and sexuality is defined.

In boys, the penis develops, along with the potential to have orgasms and ejaculate, while "females get the nerve pathways for orgasm by initially having the same body plan."

Nipples in men are similarly vestigial, Dr. Lloyd pointed out.

While nipples in woman serve a purpose, male nipples appear to be simply left over from the initial stage of embryonic development.

The female orgasm, she said, "is for fun."

Dr. Lloyd said scientists had insisted on finding an evolutionary function for female orgasm in humans either because they were invested in believing that women's sexuality must exactly parallel that of men or because they were convinced that all traits had to be "adaptations," that is, serve an evolutionary function.

Theories of female orgasm are significant, she added, because "men's expectations about women's normal sexuality, about how women should perform, are built around these notions."

"And men are the ones who reflect back immediately to the woman whether or not she is adequate sexually," Dr. Lloyd continued.

Central to her thesis is the fact that women do not routinely have orgasms during sexual intercourse.

She analyzed 32 studies, conducted over 74 years, of the frequency of female orgasm during intercourse.

When intercourse was "unassisted," that is not accompanied by stimulation of the clitoris, just a quarter of the women studied experienced orgasms often or very often during intercourse, she found.

Five to 10 percent never had orgasms. Yet many of the women became pregnant.

Dr. Lloyd's figures are lower than those of Dr. Alfred A. Kinsey, who in his 1953 book "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female" found that 39 to 47 percent of women reported that they always, or almost always, had orgasm during intercourse.

But Kinsey, Dr. Lloyd said, included orgasms assisted by clitoral stimulation.

Dr. Lloyd said there was no doubt in her mind that the clitoris was an evolutionary adaptation, selected to create excitement, leading to sexual intercourse and then reproduction.

But, "without a link to fertility or reproduction," Dr. Lloyd said, "orgasm cannot be an adaptation."

Not everyone agrees. For example, Dr. John Alcock, a professor of biology at Arizona State University, criticized an earlier version of Dr. Lloyd's thesis, discussed in in a 1987 article by Stephen Jay Gould in the magazine Natural History.

In a phone interview, Dr. Alcock said that he had not read her new book, but that he still maintained the hypothesis that the fact that "orgasm doesn't occur every time a woman has intercourse is not evidence that it's not adaptive."

"I'm flabbergasted by the notion that orgasm has to happen every time to be adaptive," he added.

Dr. Alcock theorized that a woman might use orgasm "as an unconscious way to evaluate the quality of the male," his genetic fitness and, thus, how suitable he would be as a father for her offspring.

"Under those circumstances, you wouldn't expect her to have it every time," Dr. Alcock said.

Among the theories that Dr. Lloyd addresses in her book is one proposed in 1993, by Dr. R. Robin Baker and Dr. Mark A. Bellis, at Manchester University in England.

In two papers published in the journal Animal Behaviour, they argued that female orgasm was a way of manipulating the retention of sperm by creating suction in the uterus.

When a woman has an orgasm from one minute before the man ejaculates to 45 minutes after, she retains more sperm, they said.

Furthermore, they asserted, when a woman has intercourse with a man other than her regular sexual partner, she is more likely to have an orgasm in that prime time span and thus retain more sperm, presumably making conception more likely.

They postulated that women seek other partners in an effort to obtain better genes for their offspring.

Dr. Lloyd said the Baker-Bellis argument was "fatally flawed because their sample size is too small."

"In one table," she said, "73 percent of the data is based on the experience of one person."

In an e-mail message recently, Dr. Baker wrote that his and Dr. Bellis's manuscript had "received intense peer review appraisal" before publication.

Statisticians were among the reviewers, he said, and they noted that some sample sizes were small, "but considered that none of these were fatal to our paper."

Dr. Lloyd said that studies called into question the logic of such theories. Research by Dr. Ludwig Wildt and his colleagues at the University of Erlangen-Nuremberg in Germany in 1998, for example, found that in a healthy woman the uterus undergoes peristaltic contractions throughout the day in the absence of sexual intercourse or orgasm.

This casts doubt, Dr. Lloyd argues, on the idea that the contractions of orgasm somehow affect sperm retention.

Another hypothesis, proposed in 1995 by Dr. Randy Thornhill, a professor of biology at the University of New Mexico and two colleagues, held that women were more likely to have orgasms during intercourse with men with symmetrical physical features.

On the basis of earlier studies of physical attraction, Dr. Thornhill argued that symmetry might be an indicator of genetic fitness.

Dr. Lloyd, however, said those conclusions were not viable because "they only cover a minority of women, 45 percent, who say they sometimes do, and sometimes don't, have orgasm during intercourse."

"It excludes women on either end of the spectrum," she said. "The 25 percent who say they almost always have orgasm in intercourse and the 30 percent who say they rarely or never do. And that last 30 percent includes the 10 percent who say they never have orgasm under any circumstances."

In a phone interview, Dr. Thornhill said that he had not read Dr. Lloyd's book but the fact that not all women have orgasms during intercourse supports his theory.

"There will be patterns in orgasm with preferred and not preferred men," he said.

Dr. Lloyd also criticized work by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, an emeritus professor of anthropology at the University of California, Davis, who studies primate behavior and female reproductive strategies.

Scientists have documented that orgasm occurs in some female primates; for other mammals, whether orgasm occurs remains an open question.

In the 1981 book "The Woman That Never Evolved" and in her other work, Dr. Hrdy argues that orgasm evolved in nonhuman primates as a way for the female to protect her offspring from the depredation of males.

She points out that langur monkeys have a high infant mortality rate, with 30 percent of deaths a result of babies' being killed by males who are not the fathers. Male langurs, she says, will not kill the babies of females they have mated with.

In macaques and chimpanzees, she said, females are conditioned by the pleasurable sensations of clitoral stimulation to keep copulating with multiple partners until they have an orgasm. Thus, males do not know which infants are theirs and which are not and do not attack them.

Dr. Hrdy also argues against the idea that female orgasm is an artifact of the early parallel development of male and female embryos.

"I'm convinced," she said, "that the selection of the clitoris is quite separate from that of the penis in males."

In critiquing Dr. Hrdy's view, Dr. Lloyd disputes the idea that longer periods of sexual intercourse lead to a higher incidence of orgasm, something that if it is true, may provide an evolutionary rationale for female orgasm.

But Dr. Hrdy said her work did not speak one way or another to the issue of female orgasm in humans. "My hypothesis is silent," she said.

One possibility, Dr. Hrdy said, is that orgasm in women may have been an adaptive trait in our prehuman ancestors.

"But we separated from our common primate ancestors about seven million years ago," she said.

"Perhaps the reason orgasm is so erratic is that it's phasing out," Dr. Hrdy said. "Our descendants on the starships may well wonder what all the fuss was about."

Western culture is suffused with images of women's sexuality, of women in the throes of orgasm during intercourse and seeming to reach heights of pleasure that are rare, if not impossible, for most women in everyday life.

"Accounts of our evolutionary past tell us how the various parts of our body should function," Dr. Lloyd said.

If women, she said, are told that it is "natural" to have orgasms every time they have intercourse and that orgasms will help make them pregnant, then they feel inadequate or inferior or abnormal when they do not achieve it.

"Getting the evolutionary story straight has potentially very large social and personal consequences for all women," Dr. Lloyd said. "And indirectly for men, as well."

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Is Vaginal Orgasm the Exception?

2009-10-24T19:50:00.000-07:00

Why do some women have orgasms solely from vaginal stimulation? The answer is they probably aren’t. It's that the labia minora are formed in such a way that vaginal penetration actually causes the labia to rub against or gently pull on the clitoris.

Could This Revolutionize Sexual Intercourse?

One of the biggest misconceptions people have about female orgasms is that they are all created equal. The truth is that not all orgasms are the same: they may all be equally pleasurable but they are generally arrived at through different means.

Basically, there are two types of female orgasms: vaginal and clitoral.

Vaginal Orgasm

This type of orgasm was the only type Freud and other men of his time felt to be legitimate types of sexual pleasure for women to experience.

Unfortunately for women, only about 20% can receive an orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. The other 80% need something a little extra.

Before we get into that, let me explain exactly what we mean by vaginal orgasm. A vaginal orgasm occurs solely because of stimulation of the vagina.

That stimulation is usually in the form of the thrusting of the male penis during vaginal intercourse.

The reason most women do not receive an orgasm just from penetration is that the vagina is not a highly sensitive area.

This is actually a good thing. Remember that the vagina is not just used for sex but also for delivering babies.

If the inside walls of the vagina were made up of concentrated nerve endings like we find in the nipple, the clitoris, or the penis, then childbirth would be even more difficult for women.

In fact, only the first two inches of the vagina are sensitive at all.

So why do some women have orgasms solely from vaginal stimulation?

The answer is they probably aren’t. Women who report vaginal orgasms benefit from their anatomy. In some women, the labia minora are formed in such a way that vaginal penetration actually causes the labia to rub against or gently pull on the clitoris.

This, not vaginal stimulation, is leading to the orgasm in most cases. Technically, however, this would still be considered a vaginal orgasm because there is not direct stimulation of the clitoris.

Another reason why some women report having vaginal orgasms is that the shape of the penis and their preferred position allow for stimulation of the G-spot.

Because the G-spot is linked to increased pleasure and may also induce orgasms, this is another possibility worth considering.

The bottom line here though is that vaginal orgasms are not common. Men and women need to realize that penetration is often not going to be enough to accomplish the goal.

The good news is that gives both partners an excuse to experiment with some new things and ideas!

Clitoral Orgasm

By far the most common way for a woman to regularly reach orgasm is through direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. First, let me share with you some information about the clitoris.

The clitoris is located just by the vaginal entrance and behind the labia minora. In most women, it is a small nub of flesh which contains a high concentration of nerve endings which make it highly sensitive.

It is often covered by a clitoral hood. Many people don’t realize that only a small portion of the clitoris is actually visible.

The remainder of the organ is surrounded by the rest of the reproductive system and extends all the way to the bottom of the pubic bone.

Two things are particularly interesting about the clitoris. First, all female mammals have a clitoris.

This is interesting because the sole purpose, at least according to biologists, of the clitoris is sexual pleasure. That would seem to mean that humans aren’t the only ones who enjoy the way sex feels.

Second, the clitoris is made from the same material as the penis. In fact, in men the clitoris becomes a full-fledged penis after the embryo is exposed to testosterone in the womb.

Just like the penis, the clitoris fills with blood and becomes erect during sexual arousal. The clitoral hood is essentially the same as the foreskin of a penis.

The only real difference between a clitoris and a penis – besides location in the body – seems to be that the penis is also used for urination while the clitoris is not.

With that said, it’s important to realize that the clitoris is really similar in size to the penis, even though most of it cannot be seen.

Vibrations through the pelvic region caused by intercourse could stimulate the nerve endings in the unseen part of the clitoris as well and this can also cause orgasms.

What many people don’t realize about the clitoris is that the penis alone usually cannot stimulate it.

Because of its position in the woman’s body, the ability of the penis to provide rhythmic stimulation to the clitoris is extremely difficult. That means traditional intercourse usually needs to be coupled with clitoral stimulation.

The question is how does one engage in clitoral stimulation. Some male partners take the approach that the women should be responsible for the stimulation themselves, which has always seemed a bit unfair to me since the woman is providing him with the stimulation he needs to reach orgasm. However, this is one way to deal with it.

Another method is by, what I like to call multi-tasking. Multi-tasking basically means the man does more than one thing at the same time.

For example, he may be penetrating the vagina while also stimulating the clitoris in one way or another (we’ll discuss those ways a little later). If the couple wants to achieve orgasm at or near the same time, this is clearly the best option.

Other couples I’ve met with have resorted to an alternative approach. One person reaches orgasm at a time. Depending on how each person best reaches orgasm, this may be a possibility but it’s usually not the most satisfactory approach.

The best thing about clitoral orgasms is that they can be achieved in many different ways.

Because the entire area is highly sensitive, experimenting with these types of orgasms can also add some interest and spice to sexual relationships which may have become less enthusiastic over time.

And the key is experimenting because different women prefer different types of clitoral stimulation.

While some prefer direct stimulation, others find it uncomfortable and prefer to have the area around the clitoris stimulated instead.

Women who have masturbated will generally have a much better idea of what type of stimulation they prefer than women who have not.

So, bottom line: Please understand: there is NOTHING wrong if your woman requires clitoral stimulation besides penetration to reach an orgasm. And actually, it IS more fun!

Once you understand this fact, you´ll both start to get more “creative” in bed. And trust me, she will NOT be frustrated anymore!

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Is There More to Sex Than Fucking?

2009-10-24T19:47:00.000-07:00

Penetration is one of many sexual activities. Others are oral sex, nipple pinching, butt squeezing, clit rubbing, ball tickling, breast binding, toe sucking... The erogenous activities that constitute "sex" are as varied as the people who do them.

Why does the media stick to an outdated, offensive and boring definition of sex?

A study to be published next month in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, based on a survey of sex therapists, concluded that the "optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes."

I scratched my head on that one, until I read that "the time does not include foreplay." And then the bulb went on. Well, two bulbs went on.

First, why are they using those tired, narrow definitions of "sex" and "foreplay" -- as if they were separate activities?

And second, what if "intercourse" isn't in your sexual vocabulary, although you're having fabulous erotic experiences? Or if your idea of intercourse involves neither a penis nor a vagina?

What's sex?

This conflation of "sex" and "sexual intercourse" is as outdated an idea as the prohibition on wearing white shoes after Labor Day or the belief that birth control causes promiscuity. Let's get real.

Penetration is one of many sexual activities. Others are oral sex, nipple pinching, butt squeezing, clit rubbing, ball tickling, breast binding, toe sucking and, did I say clit rubbing? The actions that constitute "sex" -- undistinguished from "foreplay" -- are as varied as the people who do them.

If a couple has kissed and touched and teased and stroked and sucked until both of them are totally satiated -- but they haven't screwed -- is that not sex?

If someone has a fetish -- say they are wild about stockings -- and they get off humping the silk-encased thigh of their partner -- is that not sex?

What's intercourse?

Intercourse isn't right for everyone and isn't required for reaching an ecstatic orgasm.

Sometimes you want penetration and luckily there are a number of possible spots to penetrate with a number of body parts -- from fingers to tongue to penis -- and non-body parts -- from dildos to ben-wa balls to fruit.

But the AP report on this study seems to be all about heterosexual penile/vaginal intercourse and even that is very limited and limiting.

Not only do people feel varied levels of enthusiasm about such sexual intercourse at various times of their lives (or months), some people cannot perform that particular activity at all.

There are plenty of reasons for this, including the thinning of the vaginal walls with age, medications that prevent strong erections, a personal safer sex guideline or simply no inclination for copulation.

Don't gay and lesbian people have sex? Do their activities fit this definition of "sexual intercourse"?

And the woman who drizzles lubricant in her cleavage and then presses her breasts together as her male lover pumps, is that intercourse? Does anal sex constitute intercourse? What about fisting?

The article's general thrust is that you shouldn't feel bad about having such short-lived sex, since it appears to be the norm.

In fact, the piece includes a promise that this study will "ease the minds" of those worried about the stopwatch.

In support of low expectations, Marianne Brandon, a clinical psychologist, is quoted as saying:

"There are so many myths in our culture of what other people are doing sexually. Most people's sex lives are not as exciting as other people think they are."

Perhaps if the sex therapists encouraged the broadest exploration of pleasure, we wouldn't have to resort to measuring such a narrow notion of sex.

Separating "foreplay" from "sex" is as logical as separating tea from water. It's in the mix that we find the thrill and satisfaction.

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How Bad Sex Can Ruin a Relationship

2009-10-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

Somebody once said that sex is like pizza -- even when it's really bad, it's still pretty good. However, those of us who have experienced bad sex know that it is quite a different story. Indeed, in some situations, a case of bad sex can ruin a relationship!

Of course, sex isn't going to involve fireworks every single time. Even the happiest couples experience a dismal round of intercourse every now and again. But if you are routinely having bad sex with your partner, something is certainly amiss! A satisfying sex life is the right of every adult, so if your partner is leaving something to desired, you need to take action.

Here are three tips to get you started on the road to passionate and fulfilling sex:

Sizzle, don't fizzle: The first step is to discover why you and your partner aren't meshing in the bedroom. Does he skimp on foreplay? Is she passive and bored during the act? These are delicate topics, but rest assured, they can be addressed. Do so with respect and delicacy. Try couching your complaint inside a compliment, such as "I have been thinking about us making love all day. Let's enjoy foreplay before we rush into it." Or, "I love when you are vocal about your pleasure during sex. It really turns me on." Most couples want to please each other in the bedroom, so once they hear what really turns you on, you won't need to tell them twice!

Bring your "A" game: Unfortunately, when people feel as though their partner is disinterested or disengaged from sex, they too will begin to disengage and lose interest. However, once this occurs, the sex life is doomed to failure! If you want your partner to be a pro in the bedroom, you need to become a pro too. Initiate a new position, confess a fantasy, and indulge in a little erotica together. If you want to turn up the temperature in your sex life, you need to be the one who brings the heat!

Let go of perfection: Most of us have received our sexual expectations from the media. Whether it is Cosmopolitan, romantic comedies, or adult flicks, we all have certain expectations about what "should" happen in the bedroom. Unfortunately, the media is rarely realistic when it comes to sex. Sex can't always involve hours of foreplay, champagne, and silk sheets. Sometimes it has to happen first thing in the morning while the kids are still in bed, sometimes it has to happen when the house is messy and your legs aren't shaved, etc. Whatever the case, it is time to ditch the perfect image of what we believe sex "should" be. Once you lose the shackles of expectations, you can begin creating your own version of your perfect sex life!

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How To Make Looking Bigger Penis?

2009-10-24T19:41:00.000-07:00

The penis may come in different lengths and thickness; it even comes in different shapes. However, there are some people who are overweight that see their penises have become smaller. It did not get smaller; it's just that the body's size has grown to overpower the penis. Losing weight doesn't make your penis bigger or increase in size. Although, it can make your penis and scrotum "look" bigger when you shed off some fat, especially in the thigh and belly area. It will create an appearance that your penis is more protruding and that it is more visible with the reduction of those fatty tissues blocking the view.

Sometimes, being overweight or large is not just the reason for having a seemingly small penis. Temperature and sexual libido also makes the penis "alive" or not. When you are not aroused or when you feel cold, your penis wouldn't stand up or enlarge, giving the impression that it is small. You can also opt to remove some of your pubic hair to see your penis. Keeping a trim or well toned body can really add on to your self esteem and confidence about your penis. You don't necessarily need to jump into medications or devices to make your penis big, you can start with a lifestyle check and some improvements to improve your penile health and appearance.

Now with regards to your diet, there are a lot of weight loss programs that you can get into. In fact, your eating habits or eating lifestyle contributes a great deal into losing weight. Skipping meals won't do you good but eating healthier while doing some physical exercises can help shape you up. You can start by seeking advice from a health care professional and a nutritionist. Keep a relaxed mind together with your body and little by little you will see changes with your well being and with your outlook on that buddy of yours.

When losing weight, you should remember that cutting down on the calories can be a big help. If you can't totally cut down on the eating, you have to increase your physical activities. It would be better if you can do both but do it gradually. It wouldn't do you any good if you get into those fad diets or crash diets. Try looking for a program that suits you and it should be something that you can stick to. Maintenance is very important and once your dieting has started to take effect, it doesn't mean that you should stop immediately. In fact, doing them regularly until they become a part of your system helps give you an assurance that you can stay fit and that your penis isn't getting any smaller.

When it comes to your diet, take in less fat like oily or salty foods and sweets. Try taking in more servings of fruits and vegetables, since they are rich in vitamins, fiber, and water making you feel full. Eat a decent portion of meat and carbohydrates and cut down on the alcohol, caffeine, and cigarette consumption.

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How to Shave Men Balls?

2009-10-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

Why shave? Well, there are myriad of reasons to. But mainly, men just want to show off their genitals in full view -- minus the fuzz. Besides, shaving makes your member look bigger. Without your pubes, an extra 2 inches of your meat is exposed. A clean crotch is also very tempting for a nice blowjob. The act of shaving itself is a highly erotic act which you and your sweetie can share.

What do you need? For starters, you will need razors and shaving gel. Use a brand new razor; do not even bother with electric shavers, or else?And do not use shaving cream that you use for your face; get one which is for sensitive skin or for feminine use.

Gather up your things and proceed to the bathroom. Better trim the longer hair first before you go about it to make the work much easier for you. Wash up the area with warm water and lather it up with shaving gel thoroughly.

How do you go about it? You can start by shaving off the part above your member. Remember to shave against the grain (bottom to top); it will give you the closest, smoothest shave. Gently pull down your penis so that you can go about the area much easier. Then, pull it on either side so you can get into the corners.

Now, you抮e ready to do your scrotum. Stretch out the skin as you gently work your razor with equal strokes. You can reach the area under by pulling your entire package -- shaft and all -- up against your lower belly. Feel the skin and shave the area that you may have missed. Voila! You have just made your package look bigger. Now, why haven抰 you thought of this sooner?

Remember to shave gently and focus on what you抮e doing (turn off the basketball/football game) to avoid any unwelcome accidents. But while you抮e at it, you can also shave the adjacent area on the top of your legs, or maybe your underarms and your chest.

Rinse off with a nice body wash and give your pubic area (and maybe your chest and your body) a good lathering and wash off any stray hair. You can also use body scrubs to remove off dead skin cells which causes itching.

Dry off by patting the just-shaved area with a clean towel or cloth. Wear boxers for proper ventilation. To alleviate the itching, apply some lotion, baby powder, or anti itch cream. No need to do this everyday; maybe once or twice a week. Now, you can try it out on your girl and see if she can notice the extra inches you have just gained!

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Why Women Likes a Big Penis?

2009-10-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

Those exposed to western culture have been conditioned to believe the mindset 'the bigger the better' about all sorts of things, from cars to houses to portions in restaurants. This way of thinking extends to penile size as well. Big men are most likely to have slightly bigger penises, although, contrary to popular belief, there is no correlation between the size of a man's nose or feet and the size of his organ.

Does it really make any difference when you're having sex? For Samantha X, it matters - a lot. "Sure it matters - I've had some massive members in my time, and I really enjoyed them! I find that the bigger the penis, the greater the feeling." In fact, a woman who doesn't prefer a bigger-than-average penis is more of an exception rather than the norm. While men's penis come in various colors, shapes and sizes, a study conducted by the Alfred C. Kinsey Institute for Sex Research has shown that the average penis size is anywhere from 5-7 inches. Size does not matter - to a certain extent - in order bestow a physical sensation upon a woman. "I once slept with a guy who had a stub for a cock and I couldn't feel anything. I ended up going into the bathroom and satisfying myself - a situation I don't care to repeat."

The heart of the matter is that most women don't like very small penises, whatever is done with them. A small, slender penis is not very rewarding in itself and many women complain that they 'can't feel anything,' especially if their vagina has previously been stretched by having children. That does not necessarily mean that length-challenged men cannot be good lovers, but that penis size alone probably is not going to do it.

Research has confirmed that what most women want is a bigger-than-average penis, but what is really important is width rather than length. They say the ideal penis is one which is thick enough to stretch the woman's vaginal opening and which can be felt inside their body, each time they have sex. "I would rather sleep with a guy who has a thick member than someone with a thin, reedy schlong that hits my cervix every time he penetrates me."

Similarly, most of the 200 women interviewed representing all ages (over 18), sizes, ethnicities, and sexual habits opted for girth (or the circumference) over length, as they claimed to enjoy the feeling of a thick penis rubbing against their vaginal walls rather than having an unusually long penis poking against their insides.

When it comes to racial preferences, Samantha had this to say: "I've noticed that African-Americans are really well-endowed as compared to other nationalities. They also seem to be much more confident in bed knowing that they have the right size package." One's ethnic group does produce significant anatomical differences among males. For instance, black men are indeed bigger than Caucasian men, but only by half an inch or so, on average, while Asian men are about half an inch smaller on average.

All these information just show that women are turned on and satisfied by a large, thick, and powerful penis, not to mention they are visually stimulating as well. Women such as Samantha know how to appreciate well-endowed men, or even those just think they are, since they are usually much more sexually confident about their sack skills.

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Women Can Be Allergic to Sex

2009-10-24T19:14:00.001-07:00

Imagine if after every intimate encounter you were to break out in a rash and your most delicate body parts were to become swollen. Studies have found there are women that are actually allergic to sex. Now they are not allergic to the actual act of sex ,but to their partners semen.

The proteins found in the semen are to blame for the allergic reaction. Some of the symptoms associated with an allergy to sex would include , swelling, itching, burning of the genital areas, and in severe cases women have broken out in hives and had trouble breathing. The symptoms of a sex allergy usually happen within minutes of the contact, but in rare cases could arise in hours or even a few days later.

The symptoms of the allergic reaction usually disappear on their own within a few hours. For women that are dealing with an allergy to sex there are things that can be done to prevent the allergic reactions. To start they can have their partner wear a condom . This will prevent the semen from coming in contact with the skin.

If a condom cannot be used the woman could use an allergy medication prescribed from their doctor. Some doctors believe that a woman can overcome this allergy by simply having sex more frequently. They will build up an immunity so to speak. Researchers have found that having sex two to three times a week can greatly help when dealing with a sex allergy. What husband wouldn't be thrilled to help with this treatment plan?

If you are worried you will have to get rid of your man fear not, when a person is allergic to semen they are usually allergic to all semen. So the woman would have the same allergic reaction to sex with any partner she was with. Make sure to see a Doctor if you find yourself having a reaction after having sex. They can recommend you to a good allergist who might be able to help with your problem. They can give the woman allergy shots to desensitize her to the semen. These shots would include small doses of her partners semen.

Sex allergies are not limited to the semen alone. Many women are allergic to latex, which most condoms are made from. They also might have an allergy to the lubricant or spermicide used on the condom. They make condoms from alternative materials such as lambskin and polyurethane. Some women also find they are allergic to massage oils and other personal lubricants. So if you find yourself having an allergic reaction after sex give up all the lubricants and any other products you might have been using and see if that makes a difference. If the allergy attacks do not improve see your doctor so they can find a treatment that will help you. This way you won't have to consider becoming a nun and taking an oath of celibacy.

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Why women seek sex online?

2009-10-24T19:09:00.000-07:00

"When I'm in a chat room, talking dirty or flirting, I don't have to worry about my body hang-ups. I'm free to say things that would never come out of my mouth in real life." —J., 20

"Although my boyfriend and I haven't looked at Internet porn together, we like to talk about what we've checked out on our own. It gives us new ways of keeping our sex life interesting, including my discovering the joys of from-behind positions, which took me a while to open up to!" —H., 23

"When I was younger, I turned to the Internet to read up on this masturbation thing I'd been hearing about. Before then, I couldn't locate my clitoris. It was enlightening, and I'm thankful I had those online resources in the privacy of my bedroom." —B., 23

"I used the Internet to learn how to give a blow job, before I'd ever been close to actually giving one. Friends of mine went online and printed out instructions, and we passed them around, highlighting sections. It became known as 'the packet!'" —R., 26

"A few months ago, I was using my boyfriend's laptop when I noticed a porn video he'd downloaded. At first I panicked, but then, when we were headed home in a cab a few nights later, I whispered that I wanted to watch porn and have sex. He was totally turned on by my forward proposal, in a supercharged way that reminded me of our early days together. It was a real confidence boost to have him see me in such a new, sexy light!" —N., 29

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True tales of love at first sight

2009-10-24T19:03:00.001-07:00

Here are 10 true tales of love at first sight:

- “I definitely believe in love at first sight - or maybe love at first meet. When I met my husband, I was immediately drawn to him, and he to me. It was like - ZOW! Who is this!? I first noticed his hands, as they fit mine perfectly. We spent the night together that first night, and have been together for over 10 years now (married since 2002). I love him more every day."
- Ada Vaugha, 38, Chicago suburbs, owner of CuteyBaby, LLC

- “When I was 18, I saw Joshua for the first time. He was standing in a doorway and I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I looked at my friend who was standing by me and said, ‘That's the man that I'm going to marry.’ She looked at me like I was crazy and I didn't blame her - it sounded crazy to me. Then, we began dating and I broke all of the rules: I slept with him (on the first date), I told him that I loved him and that we were going to marry one day (on the second date), and then I moved in with him after we had been together for five years. After 12 years together, we are getting married in the beginning of next year. I am more in love with him now than ever. We have had our problems, but we have always worked them out.”
- Gina M. Gallo, 30, Louisiana, school librarian

- “Yes! I believe! I met my husband 16 and a half years ago when he rear-ended me in a car accident. I jumped out of the car and saw him and my heart literally stopped. Once we started a conversation, I was a goner. It was the way he looked directly into my eyes when he spoke to me. I was dating someone else at the time, but I still went straight to my grandmother’s house after the car accident and told her I had just met the man I was going marry. We’ve now been married for nine years and have a 5-year-old son.”
- Marie Melsheimer, 34, Oregon, marketing consultant

- “Absolutely, I do believe in love at first sight. I met my wife on February 15. She came for a job interview. And as soon as I shook her hand I knew I was going to marry her. Throughout the entire interview, I kept saying to myself, 'Why are we having this interview; we are going to get married.’ And did a year later! We have been married seven years.”
- James H. Solomon, II, PhD, 60, Florida, psychologist

- “I was waiting on the balcony of my apartment waiting for several fellow astronauts to arrive so that we could all go together to see Crosby Stills & Nash on June 3, 1990. As I was standing there, a guy drove up, got out of his car and looked around. I leaned over the balcony and said ‘Are you with us?’ He looked up, smiled the most incredible smile and said ‘I hope so.’ I went into the apartment and called a friend and said ‘I just saw the man I am going to marry and spend the rest of my life with.’ We moved in together in 1991 and married in 1992. And it is still amazing!”
- Dayna Steele, 50, Texas, motivational business speaker

- “I definitely believe in love at first sight, at any age! I was 59 years old when my husband of almost 25 years left me - for a man (but that's another story). Twelve days later, I joined an online dating service. Hey, life's too short, so why wait? Over a three-year period, I dated hundreds of men. Yes, hundreds. And then I met Peter. It was love at first sight. For both of us. I was attracted to his direct gaze, his instant smile and his overall presence. Now, we're living happily ever after, and I even wrote a book about it!”
- Dale Koppel, 66, Boston, author of The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Online Dating: And She Lived Happily Ever After
- “I had my eye on a man who I thought was very attractive, but the table plan meant I was seated next to someone else at a wedding breakfast. To my surprise, I immediately relaxed, sighed and thought ‘Ah, there you are!’ I first noticed his happy energy and lovely eyes. He was talking to the girl across the table and I thought, ‘Stop talking to him. He’s mine!!!’ Soon, he turned to me and started a conversation. He was right in every way. I had dreamed of him! At the beginning of next month, still in love, we celebrate our 36th wedding anniversary. So yes, I do believe in love at first sight. In fact, before I looked at him, he just felt right – as if I had come home.”
- Ingrid Collins, 65, UK, consultant psychologist at The London Medical Centre

- “The fellow I was dating at the time introduced me to my husband in 1986. I knew within an hour that John was the man for me from a simple game of soccer with his cat’s plastic ball. We married in 1988 and are living happily ever after. Yes, I definitely believe in love at first sight!”
- Phyllis Harber-Murphy, 56, Canada, virtual assistant

- “My husband and I first met on Valentine’s Day of 1982, on the balcony of a theater called La Paloma Theater in Encinitas, California. I was enthralled by the smile that filled his entire face. He knew immediately that I was his soul mate. It took a little bit longer for me to realize it. But yes, it can definitely happen. It happened for us. We have been together since the day we first met!”
- Patty Mooney, 54, San Diego, video producer and co-owner of Crystal Pyramid Productions

- “My husband and I met at a racquetball club more than 25 years ago. I was teaching aerobics; he was on the court. As I passed by the window he was about to take a shot and took a hit instead … he ran into the glass full force. The next night found us both in a local pub, at evening’s end he offered to drive me home. Instead, we ended up in a pizza place until 3:00 a.m. and when he finally dropped me off in the wee small hours of the morning I kissed him and told him I was more than likely going to fall head over heels in love with him. He didn’t even bat an eye when he asked me to have lunch with him later that day. My 12-year-old daughter adored him and within a month we moved in together. We celebrated our 25th anniversary on August 25 and we fall in love again with every kiss.”
- Carmen Borthwick, 56, British Columbia, freelance writer

Are you believers?

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Love & Relationships Articles

2009-10-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

» Signs That Your Guy is Cheating
» True tales of love at first sight
» Why women seek sex online?
» Women Can Be Allergic to Sex
» Why Women Likes a Big Penis?
» How to Shave Men Balls?
» How To Make Looking Bigger Penis?
» How Bad Sex Can Ruin a Relationship
» Is There More to Sex Than Fucking?
» Is Vaginal Orgasm the Exception?
» Female Orgasm - Evolutionary Function?
» Foreplay Before Sex Advice
» Female Ejaculation
» How to Be a Really Good Kisser?
» Great First Kiss
» Signs You're A Bad Kisser
» The Orgasmic French Kiss
» Men Top Kissing Tips
» Spicy Ways to Give Blissful Kisses
» Simple Rules For a Better Kisser
» Men Masturbation Techniques
» Oral Sex Tips For Women
» Having Sex For The First Time?
» Male Insecurity and Jealousy
» First Date Mistakes By Men
» How To Pick Up A Girl
» 7 Sure-Fire Ways to Repulse a Woman
» Internet Romance Relationship
» Things Women Should Do when Men Cheat
» How Do Men Think?
» Why Women Worry So Much
» Women You Should Avoid
» 5 Ways to Get Into a Man's Head
» Things Women Don't Know About Men
» How to Avoid Mr. Wrong
» Men You Should Avoid
» How To Make a Man Jealous?
» Things That Make Good Guys Wave Goodbye

Signs That Your Guy is Cheating

2009-10-24T19:00:00.001-07:00

It’s every woman’s worst relationship fear — that her man is cheating. We’ve all heard the statistic: half of all men cheat. And some experts say that number is even closer to three quarters. Could it be happening to you? Aside from finding lipstick on his collar, a mysterious condom in his pocket or, yes, a phone number on a napkin (helpful hints but unlikely clichés!), there are some red flags to watch out for to tip you off that something fishy might be going on. The following are six signs that should raise your eyebrows:

1. He’s Acting Differently.
The most telltale sign of a cheating man is that he’s acting differently than the way he used to. If any of the signals below describe your guy’s usual actions, don’t freak out and immediately assume he’s having an affair; he’s probably just being his quirky self. What you should be suspicious of is new developments, says Barbara Feld, LCSW, a couple’s therapist at Park Avenue Relationship Consultants in New York City. She says you should ask yourself, “Is what’s happening different than normal? Is he showing a real change in behavior?” If he’s always been private, hasn’t ever had the highest sex drive, or often flakes out on plans, that’s just who he is. It’s when he starts to be that way and never was before that you should start asking questions.

2. He’s Avoiding You.
If your guy has suddenly started coming home much later, seems to be making excuses to be out of the house, starts going away with out you on the weekends, or just generally seems to be avoiding you, that’s a clear indication of trouble in your relationship. M. Gary Neuman, a licensed family counselor and the author of “The Truth About Cheating” found that 61 percent of cheating men said they started spending more time away from home. 55 percent of men about to cheat said the same thing. No matter how busy your guy may be, he should be making an effort to see you (because, hello – he loves you, right?). If he’s stopped making time for you, it’s not at all unreasonable to wonder if he’s making time for someone else.

3. You’re Having Less/Different Sex.
You might think that cheating men stop sleeping with their partners completely. But that’s not always the case. According to M. Gary Neuman, a little less than half of cheating men report having less sex with their partner. Others keep having sex so that they don’t raise suspicions – sneaky b------ s. So be alert to the amount of sex you’re having, but most of all, pay attention to the quality of the sex. Therapist Barbara Feld says sometimes when a guy is having an affair, the quantity of sex remains the same, but it’s the sex itself that changes. Maybe it used to be very romantic, and feel more like making love, and now it just feels like plain old sex.

4. His General Response to You Has Changed.
If a guy is having an affair, he may stop acting like the sweet, romantic man you fell in love with. Maybe he used to be very loving and kind towards you, but now he seems to get annoyed easily, be critical, or pick fights. If he’s consistently not being affectionate with you, don’t brush it off. Try to figure out why he’s different – and what could be distracting him, or making him feel guilty.

5. He Has Suddenly Become Very Private.
It’s just not normal for your guy to always go into a different room to answer calls, keep his cell phone in his car, or get really private about his bills (unless, of course, your man is a privacy freak and you knew that going in). But if he suddenly stops checking his e-mail in front of you, has turned the bathroom into a phone booth, and has redirected the bills to his office, it’s a fair guess than an affair is under way.

6. He is Unreliable
Quite simply, says Barbara Feld, “is he where he says he will be?” If he’s never where he says he’s going to be, it’s a certain sign he’s lying to you about something. Maybe he says he’ll be at the office, but you call and he’s not there. Or he says he’s with a friend, and that friend then calls looking for him. Everyone’s plans change sometimes, but if your guy is consistently not where he says he will be, it’s very possible it’s because he’s with another woman.

What to Do?
If your guy is showing any of these six signs, talk with him about it. Tell him things feel different than they used to, and you want to know what’s going on. “If he tells you everything is fine but you know it’s not, continue to pursue the issue,” says Barbara Feld. “You can also suggest, ‘let’s talk to someone together,’ and get couples therapy.”

Don’t turn a blind eye on your relationship. If things are bad, getting bad, or just feel strange, do something about it. Even if you guy isn’t having an affair, all the signs above could be signals that he’s about to. By addressing – and working with him to fix – whatever is going on in your relationship, you can prevent an affair from ever happening in the first place. If you’re noticing negative changes or problems in your relationship, address them now, while they’re still small. Maintaining a strong relationship with open communication is one of the best things you can do to ensure fidelity—both on his part, and on yours.

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Hot - Latest Celebrity Hair Styles

2009-10-24T02:53:00.000-07:00

Britney Spears keeps her hair dry with a loose topknot while swimming with her kids at The Ritz-Carlton Marina del Ray hotel.

Beyoncé's natural curls look a little on the flat side after dinner with Jay-Z at Bar Pitti in New York.

High School Musical's Ashley Tisdale looks cool with long auburn tresses and red Ray-bans on a visit to the hair salon in LA.

Sugababes singer Amelle Berrabah's bob is poker straight for an evening out at The Punchbowl pub in London.

Feeling the New York heat, The City's Whitney Port sweeps her hair over with a side parting in New York's West Village.

Sienna Miller leaves her blonde hair loose and tousled for a shopping trip in New York.

Rihanna's quiff looks higher than ever as she arrives at LAX airport.

Renée Zellweger pulls her hair into a low, messy ponytail for the premiere of My One And Only in New York.

Mel B straightens her hair for the opening party of luxury resort Terranea in LA.

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2009-10-21T09:16:00.000-07:00

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The Best PTC Site List

2009-10-20T08:37:00.001-07:00

You are paid just by Visiting Advertisments.

Paid to click if Often Called PTC. Its a job that you can earn at home without limits or boss around you. Anyone Can join, house wife, JOBLESS, or even not satisfied with your carrier now, or wanting to have an extra income, or even a student.

Register at PAYPAL and ALERTPAY . This are the trusted internet accounts where you can shop, store, and send money ONLINE safely. This payment processors is where they said thier payments to you. this payment processors or every PTC site needs a VALID email address so be sure that you have one.

FIND the most trusted PTC sites approved by online money Makers. There are scams sites all over the internet so be careful with those sites. I'll give you links of the forums or blog which declares if the Sites are trusted or not.

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We're Tired of the Fat Jokes!

2009-10-19T01:16:00.000-07:00

Jessica Simpson
"I will never understand why people attack for a laugh," she Twittered after an Oct. 11 Fox NFL Sunday spoof mocked her weight by saying she'd make a good "defensive tackle."

Carrie Fisher
She lashed out at bloggers "from the bottom of my heart encased in fat" after reading one comment online that said she "used to be hot" but now "looked like Elton John."

Kelly Clarkson
"For seven years it's been happening. It's like, 'OK cool, the fat joke,'" she said earlier this year. "I don't think artists are ever the ones who have the problem with their weight, it is other people."

Cheryl Burke
After seeing comments on a Dancing With the Stars message board (one person called her a "hogzilla"), the size-4 dancer said last year: "Maybe I'm not at my thinnest right now, but it's a little bit like, 'Wow, do you really think I'm fat?'"

Jennifer Love Hewitt
"A size 2 is not fat!" she seethed on her blog after critics mocked Web photos of her in a bikini in 2007.

Kate Winslet
Nicknamed "Blubber" in high school, she told GQ last year that she still feels like the "fat kid." In 2007, she won libel damages from a British magazine that claimed she saw a diet specialist.

Tyra Banks
"Kiss my fat ass!" she told critics in 2007 after a tabloid ran her photo under the headline "America's Next Top Waddle."

Serena Williams
Growing up, "everyone called me fat," she recently told Tyra Banks. "Every paper, the headline was 'fat, fat, fat.'" Even today, "sometimes I read things [that say] I'm too fit or my arms are too muscular, but that's how I am."

Surrogates

2009-10-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

"Surrogates" wants to be a big movie with big ideas, but most of them have been explored before in recent (and not-so-recent) years. As we become more consumed with technology and less reliant on interpersonal contact, it's certainly a relevant and somewhat plausible cautionary tale. But despite boasting impressive special effects that defy its relatively modest $80 million budget, "Surrogates" comes up short as an emotionally engaging action adventure. At least the running time is pretty short too (only 88 minutes).

That's too bad, given the level of talent involved. Jonathan Mostow may not be the most prolific director working in Hollywood, but he's definitely one of the most consistent - 1997's "Breakdown," 2000's "U-571" and 2003's "Terminator: Rise of the Machines" were all very entertaining movies. And after four "Die Hard" flicks, "Surrogates" features Bruce Willis in the kind of role that moviegoers like to see him in: the flawed anti-hero.

Bruce Willis On Having Babies With Emma Heming

2009-10-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

'Anything Is Possible'

"Well you know anything is possible, anything is possible," the 54-year-old actor told Access Hollywood on Thursday night at the Hollywood premiere of his new movie, "Surrogates."

"It has been suggested that we should begin breeding immediately," he continued, explaining that it's not his 31-year-old wife who is proposing they expand their family. "Other people who see us together... I think [they] do the math."

Bruce told Access the future - including the possibility of having more kids (he has three daughers with ex-wife Demi Moore) - is wide open.

"I don't know. I don't know. You can't predict the future, can you?" " Bruce told Access at the time. "No one can tell what's coming!"

Courtney Love Owes $ In Taxes!

2009-10-18T09:06:00.000-07:00

Courtney Love is kinda of like a punk Peter Pan. Snorting fairy dust, sporting flouncy outfits around town and not that great with adult responsibility.

According to an L.A. tax lien, good ole Love is apparently $300,000 in the hole with back taxes going back to 2007. Ouch.

Love’s lawyer spoke up for her saying that she is indeed all grown up and responsible, “Ms. Cobain has every intention of paying those taxes.”

Yeah, sure she does. I only wonder what reader Whitney Hate thinks of all this…

Michael Jackon's Kids To Star In Reality Show

2009-10-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

The Jacksons are at odds over the inclusion of Michael Jackson's three children in an upcoming A&E reality show about the famous family, Us Weekly reports in its latest issue (on newsstands now).

A source tells Us Weekly the buzzed-about program will include Michael's kids -- Prince, 12, Paris, 11, and Blanket, 7 -- though not everyone's happy about it.

Eldest sister Rebbie, 59, who has refused to be in the series (called The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty, tentatively set to air in December), "feels Michael would spin in his grave if he knew his kids would be on this show."

See photos of Michael Jackson's kids saying farewell to their beloved father

While Janet, 43, is on board, mom Katherine "is just going along with things," the source continues.

Still, one of the creators of the program -- which will be either five one-hour episodes or 10 half-hour episodes -- says the family shines on the series.

"We have 23 cast members with the last name Jackson," executive producer Jodi Gomes tells Us Weekly. "They've done a great job opening up about losing a brother." (A Jackson family rep couldn't be reached.)

New secretary

2009-10-18T08:35:00.001-07:00

The manager hired a new secretary. she was young, sweet, and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, "Oh sir, did you know that your barracks door was open." He did not understand her remark, but later on happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new employee.

Calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you also see a soldier standing at attention." The secretary, who was quite witty, replied, "Why, no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!"

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Make love

2009-10-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

A Doctor recently had a patient "drop" in on him for an unscheduled appointment. "What can I do for you today?" the Doctor asked. The aged Gentleman replied: "Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love to my wife, my eyes get all bleary, my legs go weak, I can hardly catch my breath.... Doctor, I'm scarred!"

The Doctor, looking at his 86 year old patient, said: "Mr. Smith, these sensations tend to happen over time, especially to a man of your advanced years, but tell me, when did you first notice these symptoms?" The old gent's response was: "Well... three times last night, and twice again this morning!"

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Finger

2009-10-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."

After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.

After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."

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Near death

2009-10-18T08:31:00.001-07:00

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that
time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read, "Asshole, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"

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Happy birthday to you

2009-10-18T08:30:00.001-07:00

Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover, "Please do me a favor. It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Could you check it out for me?" His roommate lubes up his finger (mercifully) and shoves it up Bruce's ass, feeling all around, and says, "I don't feel anything."

Bruce says, "Trust me, there's something up there. Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it out." So his roommate lubes his whole hand and sticks it up Bruce's ass. He feels around, and then pulls out a Rolex watch.

He says, "I found your problem. There was a watch stuck up your ass." Bruce starts singing, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..."

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Jungle kingdom

2009-10-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while.

Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch. In pain she screamed 'What the hell did you do that for?' Tarzan replied, 'Always check for squirrels.'

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Dentist's office

2009-10-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth." The woman then says: "Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful I'd rather have a baby!" To which the dentist replies, "Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair."

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Easy job!

2009-10-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

A man got a job in the sales promotion department of a cola soft-drink company. When he asked about his duties, the manager explained. "Oh! It's an easy job! All you have to is call on ten women buyers every day, and knock Seven-Up!"

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Not your stub

2009-10-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess who was collecting tickets. So when the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself. The stewardess said, "I'm sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not your stub."

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Heavy smoking habits

2009-10-18T08:16:00.002-07:00

Two girls were discussing their heavy smoking habits. "I get such a yen for a cigarette," said one, "that the only effective countermeasure is to pop a Life Saver into my mouth and suck hard." "That's fine for you," huffed her friend, "but I don't happen to live in a house that's right on the beach!"

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Influence of alcohol

2009-10-18T08:16:00.001-07:00

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath.

He said, 'I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.' She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, 'It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones.'

She replied, 'You mean it shows that, too?'

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Tight-looking ass!

2009-10-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, 'Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it.'

'Dear,' the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, 'I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a really nice, tight-looking ass!!

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Anybody undress

2009-10-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

Once there was a little boy who was curious about what a strip club was like so one day he decided to sneak into one. Once he was in, he watched as the strippers danced. He watched until they started taking of their clothing. That's when he bolted out the door and started running down the street and into a man. The man asks the boy, "What's wrong young man? You look like you just saw a ghost!". The little boy replies, "My mommy and daddy told me that if I ever watched anybody undress, I'd turn to stone...and all of a sudden I felt something hard!".

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Unborn child

2009-10-18T08:04:00.000-07:00

One day a pregnant wife announced that she was going to start looking for names for her and her husbands unborn child. When the father had gotten home from work the mother held up a baby book and said that the name was going to be Ophella. The husband (who was quite witty) didn't like the name he said, "That's a good name, it reminds me of this girl I dated in high school." The next day the mother had changed the name to Sarah.

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Perfect opportunity

2009-10-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her place for the night, her parents are out of town and this is the perfect opportunity. They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom, and when the guy walks in the door he notices all these fluffy toys. There's hundreds of them, fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the bookshelf and window sill, there's more on the floor, and of course fluffy toys all over the bed. Later, after they've had sex, he turns to her and asks,

''So, how was I?''

She says, ''Well, you can take anything from the bottom shelf.''

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Before & After Sex

2009-10-18T07:57:00.000-07:00

A man and his four year old son are talking, when his son asks him "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" The Dad confused, asks him " before or after sex?" The kid says "Ummm before sex" So the dad says to him "Well have u ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red peddles." "yeah" says the son."well what about after sex" he says to his dad. His dad replies " Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise"

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Disgusting stains

2009-10-18T07:56:00.001-07:00

Our dog left so many disgusting stains on our carpet that we had to buy new carpet. I didn't want to be stupid about the new purchase, so I cut the stains out of the old carpet. When the carpet guy asked what color we wanted, I pulled out the stained patches and said, "Yeah, can you match this color!"

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Too fast

2009-10-18T07:53:00.002-07:00

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Well these two country boys in the next booth notice she is choking so they get up and go over to help her.

The first country boy drops his coveralls and bends over and the second country boy starts licking his butt. The women watches these two go at it and is grossed out. She pukes all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. The country boy pulls his overalls back up and says to the other, "You're right Leroy, that hind-lick maneuver works like a charm."

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Swimming contest

2009-10-18T07:53:00.001-07:00

Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool

The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom.

Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool,so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him.

He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering.

Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts: "Three years I've spent learning to swim with my fucking ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some asshole puts a swimming cap on me!"

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All afternoon

2009-10-18T07:49:00.000-07:00

Young Johnny and Susie were playing doctor, on the back porch when Susie's mom popped in on them. "You're gonna get a good lickin when daddy gets home" she said Susie replied, "Johnny's been doing that all afternoon."

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Your boobs

2009-10-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

There was this woman who had bags under her eyes and wanted to get them removed so she could look younger so she went to a plastic surgeon. She tells the doctor I cant get rid of these bags please help me. The doctor says he is gonna try and new experimental technique on her. He will put a crank in the back of her head and when she sees bags under her eyes she's supposed to crank it and the bags will go away.

So she gets this crank put in her head and leaves. It works and works for a while until one day she cant get rid of these bags under her eyes. She cranks and cranks as hard as she can but they just wont go away. So she goes to the doctor. She says to the doctor: "Doctor, this was working for a while, but I cant seem to get rid of these bags under my eyes."

The doctor replies: "Lady those aren't bags..those are your boobs." All she had to say was.."Now that would explain why I have this goatee."

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Playing poker

2009-10-18T07:47:00.001-07:00

She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds.

"Who was it?" he asked.

"My husband," she replied.

"I better get going," he said. "Where was he?"

"Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you."

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Suitcases!

2009-10-18T07:39:00.002-07:00

You may have heard about a new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

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Headache

2009-10-18T07:39:00.001-07:00

A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?"

"It's for your headache."

"I don't have a headache."

He replies, "Gotcha!"

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Earsplitting yell

2009-10-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell."

"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem," she complained, "is that it wakes me up."

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Grandpa

2009-10-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma's idea."

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You're here or not

2009-10-18T07:28:00.000-07:00

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"

His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

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Annual checkup

2009-10-18T07:27:00.001-07:00

During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. "Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you." "All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through." In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?" "Put them on the chair, on top of mine."

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Still in the crate!

2009-10-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

A guy was playing golf, a golf ball hit him in the balls and he passed out. His friends took him to the doctor. The man asked him, "Well, what do you think, doc?" The doctor replied," We're going to have to put in a support for about a week." He then takes four tongue depressors and ties them all together with string. The man's face looked disappointed, he told the doctor "But tonight's me and my wife's honeymoon." The doctor replied, "Your going to have to bear with it."

Later that night, the man and his wife were in bed. She took off her shirt and grabs her breasts, "No one has ever seen these before." The man pulls out his wang and says, "Well mines still in the crate!"

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Can't remember

2009-10-18T07:24:00.001-07:00

Once there was an old man sitting on a bench in the park crying. A younger man walked up to him and asked "What's wrong?" The old man replied "I am married to a sexy 21 year old woman who gives me two blowjobs a day and we have sex the minute I get home from work and right after dinner." The young man had a strange look on his face and asked "What's so bad about that? It sounds to me like you have a great sex life." The old man replied "I can't remember where I live!"

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Ice cream

2009-10-18T07:23:00.001-07:00

There was a shoe sales man sitting in his store when a beautiful woman comes in. He looks at her and can't stop staring. While helping her try on a pair of shoes he glances up her skirt to find she isn't wearing any panties. He started thinking and something slipped out. The man said "I'd like to fill your pussy with ice cream and lick it all out!" Hearing this the woman runs out to tell her husband. She says, "Honey, this shoe salesman said he'd like to fill my pussy up with ice cream and lick it all out!" "Now go kick his ass!". The husband replied "Dear, anyone that can eat that much ice cream, I ain't fuckin' with!"

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Breathalyzer again!

2009-10-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going down the hall an old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but you were speeding. Can I see your driver's license?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way.

Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but I saw you cross the center line back there." "Can I see your registration please?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way.

She zooms off again up and down the halls weaving all over. As she comes to the old man's room again he jumps out. This time, he's stark naked and has an erection! The old lady in the wheel chair looks up and says, "Oh no...... not the Breathalyzer again!"

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Molasses

2009-10-18T06:50:00.001-07:00

There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

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Wetting fingers

2009-10-18T06:49:00.001-07:00

A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier".

The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.

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What's wrong

2009-10-18T06:47:00.000-07:00

Jason walks into a restroom in an airport and goes up to a urinal. A man with no arms comes up to him and says "Hey, can you give me a hand?". Though he feels uncomfortable, he agrees to help. He unzips the man's pants, takes a deep breath, and reaches in and takes out his penis, which he is horrified to discover is all green and moldy. Imagining the bonus he will get come judgment day, he continues to hold the man's moldy unit as he urinates, gives it a shake, and zips it back up in his pants.

"Hey, thanks a lot man." The man says

"No problem. But there is one thing I have to know, what is wrong with your Johnson?"

Then the man pulls his arms out into his sleeves and says "I don't know, but I'm sure as hell ain't gonna touch it!"

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No Cinderella

2009-10-18T06:43:00.000-07:00

Cinderella wanted to go to the ball one night, but she didn't have any tampons to use and she was on the rags. Her Fairy Godmother came to the rescue and turned a pumpkin next to Cinderella's house into a tampon. The Godmother says, "Now use the tampon, but be sure to get back home before midnight or it will turn back into a pumpkin, and that wouldn't be good." Cinderella agrees and leaves the house.

Midnight comes along...no Cinderella, 1am, 2am and 3am, still no Cinderella!

Finally, 5am rolls by and Cinderella waltzes through the door and the fairy godmother jumps up. "Where the hell have you been?!?" To which Cinderella replies, "I met this amazing guy, and well, before I knew it, we got into a serious bang session. His name was Peter Peter....."

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You or Me

2009-10-18T05:02:00.000-07:00

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"

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30 years of marriage

2009-10-18T04:46:00.000-07:00

After thirty years of marriage, Bernie is lying on his deathbed and with a tear in his eye he says "Annabel before I die I have to tell you something". She replies "Yes, yes dear anything what is it?" He starts, "The first year we were together, I caught pneumonia and almost died. You sat by my bed and nursed me back to health." To which the wife nods her head and he continues, "When I lost half my family in the terrible car crash, it was you by my side who kept me going. When our kids grew up and ran away from home, you sat with me and comforted me! And when I lost everything last year in the fire at the store, you were right by my side the whole time. Annabel You've been through everything with me." Bernie says, "So before I die I just want you to know you're a fucking jinx!"

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Alaskan road

2009-10-18T04:44:00.000-07:00

A man was driving down an Alaskan road and his car broke down. He phoned the Alaskan Mobile Fixit Service and they arrived shortly after. He service man opened the bonnet and after a while the repair man said " It looks like you've blown a seal ", the man replies "No, it's just frost on my moustache."

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So cold

2009-10-18T04:43:00.000-07:00

To men dicussing how tight ass cold their wives had been to them about giving sex. The first fellow says "My wife's so cold I can put a glass of water in bed with her and the next morning its turned to ice." The second fellow says "Hell, every time my old lady spreads her legs the furnace kicks in!"

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Eighteen wheeler

2009-10-18T04:42:00.001-07:00

A man is driving his eighteen wheeler down the road, when he sees a hitch hiker. So the trucker stops and picks up the man. While they are driving down the road, the trucker says "Hey man, you wanna see something pretty cool?" The hitch hiker says sure. So the trucker has this monkey in the back, and he makes it come up with the men, and he smacks the monkey up side his head, and the monkey gives him a blow job. So after that, the trucker says "Hey man, do you want some of that?" And the hitch hiker says "Sure, but just don't smack me so hard."

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Pain killers

2009-10-18T04:40:00.001-07:00

So this older guy goes to the doctor asking for a prescription for 'Viagra'. The guy asks for a large dose of the *strongest* variety. The doctor asks why he needs so much. The guy says that two young nymphomaniacs are spending a week at his place. The doctor fills the prescription.

Later that week, the same guy goes back to the doctor asking for pain killers. The doctor asks 'why, is your dick in that much pain?', 'no', says the guy, 'it's for my wrists - the girls never showed up!'

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Silly

2009-10-18T04:37:00.001-07:00

A couple were indulged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed that with each movement of his pelvis, his partner's toes would rise.

Later that night, while going at it pretty hot and heavy in the shower, her toes remained still. Confused, he asked, "Why is it that when we do it in bed, your toes go up, but when we do it in the shower, they don't?"

"Silly," she replied, "I take my pantyhose off in the shower!"

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All is forgiven

2009-10-18T04:36:00.001-07:00

Burford is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn't working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men's Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his pants, uproots a plant, and takes a shit in the pot. Then he puts the plant back in the pot and leaves. Two weeks later, he gets a postcard from the hotel that says,

"Dear Mr. Burford... All is forgiven. Just tell us...where it is?"

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The bride

2009-10-18T04:31:00.000-07:00

A new bride went to her doctor for a check up. Lacking knowledge of the male anatomy, she asked the doctor "What's that thing hanging between my husbands legs?"

The doctor replies "We call that the penis." The new bride then asks "What's that reddish/purple thing on the end of the penis?"

The doctor replies "We call that the head of the penis. The bride then asks "What are those 2 round things about 15 inches from the head of the penis?"

The doctor replies "Lady, on him I don't know, but on me they're the cheeks of my ass!"

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Underwear!

2009-10-18T04:25:00.000-07:00

Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample." The old man says, "What?" So the doctor says it again. Once again the old man says, "what?" So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!" With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"

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